Go with it
by Austen01
Summary: Sophie and Sian didn't get together. Sophie goes to visit Sian at university, only to find out that Sian's housemates all think they are a couple and Sian has a favour to ask.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Go With it

**Author:** Austen

**Fandom:** Coronation street

**Pairing:** Sophie/Sian

**Disclaimer:** I don't own them.

**GO WITH IT  
>(Chapter 1)<strong>

"Sophie!"

I looked up from my magazine at the sound of my name and glanced around quickly, trying to spot my best friend on the crowded train platform.

She was late.

My train had arrived over an hour ago and Sian had promised faithfully that she would be here to meet it.

It had been over two months since Sian had moved to London to go to university, and this would be the first time I had been able to get away from my own studies back in Manchester to come and see her.

We had both spent the last six weeks arranging this visit, sorting through our schedules, ticking off the days on the calendar. All that time, all that effort, all that planning…and she was bloody late!

I'd spent the first twenty minutes looking up and down the platform expectantly, randomly checking the clock. Thinking that any minute, she would come bouncing along with excuses and 'I'm sorry' muffins. Well, the muffin part was just in my head because I was hungry, but still.

As the passengers from the train had started to disperse and the platform had begun to clear, I'd started calling Sian's phone, leaving increasingly irritated voicemails when she didn't pick up.

I cringed as I remembered the last voicemail I had left for her.

"_Please leave your message after the tone_…BEEP…'I swear on all the Jaffa cakes in the world Powers, if you don't get your arse down here soon….I'm gonna go mental!...and it won't be pretty! There will probably be blood…and…err…monkey's. Ha! That's right. There will be blood and monkey's…Is that what you want? Where the flaming hell are...' BEEP…_If you wish to re-record your message, please press one."_

Yeah, probably should have re-recorded that one.

Oh well, too late now.

"Soph!"

I spun my head around again looking for the source of the voice, and eventually caught a glimpse of Sian on the bridge that spanned the platforms.

As mad as I was, I couldn't help but smile at the sight of her. Sian was leaning over the rail in her black leather jacket with a huge smile on her face, long blonde hair flying in all directions and waving both arms around like an idiot.

I couldn't be sure if she was trying to get my attention or land a 747.

I got up from the bench and turned towards the bridge, pointing towards Sian and then dragging my hand across my throat to exaggerate just how much trouble she was in. Sian threw her hands into the air and mouthed 'I'm sorry', before turning to push through the crowds and skipping hurriedly down the stairs towards me.

"I'm so sorry!" Sian apologized breathlessly as she came to a halt in front of me. "My alarm didn't go off…I couldn't get a taxi…and I left my bastard phone in my room…so I couldn't even call you or anything…" Sian rambled adorably, taking deep breaths in between each sentence and holding her hand to her chest. She paused when she realized my attention had shifted elsewhere, her eyes following my line of sight down to her feet.

"…and I'm wearing odd shoes, aren't I?"

"Okaaay," Sian shook her head and laughed self consciously. "That just about sums up my morning." She looked back up at me with a pout. "Forgive me?"

"That depends." I sighed dramatically, pretending to think. "Did you bring me a muffin?"

Sian looked confused. "Muffin?"

"If you've cocked up big time…you _have_ to bring a muffin!" I smiled playfully. "Everyone knows that."

Sian rolled her eyes and grabbed my arm, pulling me towards the taxi stand, muttering under her breath. "I'll give you a flaming muffin."

The taxi ride to Sian's halls of residence was short. I spent most of the journey casting small sideways glances at my best friend as she stared out of the window, intensely happy just to be around her again. It always felt as if some part of me was missing whenever I wasn't with Sian, and I always relished the sweet rush of affection that seeing her gave me.

Soon we had pulled up in front of a five storey brick building that had seen better days.

"Ok, here we are." Sian said as she paid the driver and grabbed one of my bags. "Welcome to the lovely halls."

She entered a code into the keypad and shoved the door open with her shoulder.

"Just a couple of things you should know before we get up there..." Sian spoke over her shoulder to me as we trudged up the concrete stairwell. ".. The people on my floor can be…a little bit mental. But, it's in a good way, so just…y'know…go with it."

I shrugged and nodded, traipsing obediently behind her.

"Erm...don't try and run the hot water tap after about ten at night or the kitchen floods..."

We rounded the second landing and headed up another flight of stairs.

"…don't make toast…ever! Even though there's a toaster, just don't…it's buggered. Sean's nearly burnt the place down twice cos he had the munchies after the pub..."

Sian pulled open a door on the fourth floor and I followed her into a narrow hallway.

".. And I think that's about it really." Sian came to a stop outside of the first door, dropped my bag down, and turned face me with a smile.

"This is the kitchen. This is usually where everyone hangs out." Sian put her hand on the door handle. "I'll show you which stuff is mine, and you can just help yourself, ok?"

"Yeah, I think I can handle all that." I laughed.

Sian opened the door a little and then closed it again.

"Err...there is one more thing Soph." Sian's eyes darted around the corridor.

"Oh yeah?" I smirked at her and raised my eyebrow. "What's that? Don't stamp your feet and clap your hands at the same time or the roof falls in?"

"Funny." Sian said sarcastically and gave me a playful shove. "No..its just erm…its…"

"Sian." I groaned impatiently, pointing to my stomach. "I'm wasting away here. Just tell me!"

Sian fiddled with the zip on her jacket and bit her lip.

"Ok, well…" She began hesitantly. "It's…what it is…is.."

"Sian!"

"They think you're my girlfriend!" Sian blurted in a rush.

I stared at Sian with my mouth open in shock.

_What?_

For a second, I even considered waggling my finger around in my ear like cartoon characters do, but managed to control myself.

"What?" I squeaked eventually, and then cleared my throat. "They think what?"

Sian looked up from her shoes and began twirling a piece of hair around her finger.

"Umm…they think you're my girlfriend." Sian repeated quietly, never meeting my eyes.

"Why would they think that?" I eyed her suspiciously.

"Soph…It's a really long story..." Sian whined. "Which I'll totally explain later, so please can we just.." She trailed off and nodded towards the door behind her.

I raised my eyebrow and crossed my arms, waiting for an explanation.

Sian sighed and rubbed at her head.

"Ok…there was this guy at the Student union, and he kept asking me out…" Sian shrugged self-consciously and rolled her eyes. "…a lot!"

I smiled sadly. Typical Sian. She could never understand why someone would ask her out like that, repeatedly.

'_Duh. Because you're beautiful__?' _Honestly, sometimes I just wanted to shake some sense into her.

She jerked her thumb towards the kitchen. "So anyway, Beth came over and said, 'Why don't you just tell him about Sophie?'"

"…and I was like, 'What about Sophie?'" Sian threw up her hands.

"…and she was all, 'You know…that she's your girlfriend?'" Sian blushed a little and pulled worriedly at her ear as I stared at her blankly.

"…which you know...Ka Boom!" She put her hands up to the sides of her head and mimicked her brain exploding.

'_Now, that part I understand.' _I thought dryly as I rubbed at the back of my neck.

"And it all just got completely out of hand from there." Sian sighed and took a step towards me, looking at me hopefully. "Please Soph?"

"Umm please what Sian?" I asked warily, taking a step back, not liking the glint in her eyes.

"Will you pretend to be my girlfriend?" Sian took another step closer, and at my dubious look continued hurriedly. "It would just be for this weekend. Just two days!" She held up the fingers as if I couldn't figure it out for myself.

"Soph, this place is all new…and weird." Sian gestured around her. "It's hard enough…getting to know new people…" She glanced down at her feet for a second, before fixing her bright blue eyes on mine. "I just don't want them to feel like I've lied to them." She finished softly.

"Err…Well hello?" I scoffed. "You kinda did…lie to them, I mean."

Sian narrowed her eyes. "Not on purpose!" She snapped. "They just assumed."

"Yeah…but you didn't set them straight did you?"

"No pun intended?" Sian raised one eyebrow mischievously.

"Sian!" I groaned, slapping at her arm. Sian seemed to relax slightly, the tension that had started to build few minutes before easing away with her smile.

"Why would they assume that anyway?" I asked curiously after a few moments.

"Err…" Sian looked away embarrassed, fiddling with the zip on her jacket again. "I dunno…" She coughed sheepishly. "…apparently I talk about you a lot."

I couldn't help but wonder at the warm feeling that swelled inside me at Sian's words. I wiped the huge smile from my face when Sian looked back at me again.

"Look Soph…I promise I will sort everything out after this weekend…I promise!" Sian crossed her fingers over her chest and stuck out her bottom lip. "…Please?"

I squeezed my eyes shut briefly and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Ugh. I'm gonna regret this."

"Yes!" Sian grabbed my arms and grinned excitedly. "You'll see Soph…this is gonna be fun!" She waggled her eyebrows and winked at me cheekily. "You might even like it!"

"Oh God! I changed my mind." I groaned as Sian laughed and grabbed my hand, pulling me over to the kitchen door.

A host of friendly smiles greeted us as we entered the room. Sian tugged on my hand until we were standing side by side.

"Sophie this is everyone. Everyone…" She tossed her arm casually around my shoulders and flashed me a lopsided grin. "…this is my Sophie."

I blinked at my best friend in surprise.

'_My Sophie?'_

Sian grinned back at me and waggled her eyebrows once more.

I took a deep breath and slung my arm around Sian's waist, pulling her closer to me and whispering into her ear so that nobody else could hear. "You owe me _soooo_ many muffins!"

Sian chuckled softly and gave my shoulder a slight squeeze.

I turned back to the group gathered in the kitchen and smiled widely, deciding to take the advice Sian had given me as we climbed the stairs earlier…

"Hi everyone. I'm Sian's better half."

…and just go with it.

The End.


	2. Chapter 2

**Go with it  
>(Chapter 2)<strong>

'_What a day!' _I thought to myself as I lay looking up at a small crack in the ceiling of Sian's room.

The whole thing was kind of a blur.

First, Sian had abandoned me at the train station because she couldn't get her lazy arse out of bed, and when she finally turned up she had a nice little surprise for me.

All of her housemates thought we were a couple.

Not only that, she had somehow talked me into pretending to be her girlfriend for the weekend. I'm still not quite sure how she managed that one.

I tapped my feet impatiently against the bedspread beneath me. Sian was due back from the shops any second and she had some serious explaining to do.

"Hiya." Sian breezed into the room, a bright smile lighting up her face as she put a carrier bag down on the desk.

"Where have you been?" I asked with annoyance as I sprang up from the bed.

"Calm down Soph!" Sian laughed as she started pulling a few items out of the bag. "I was only gone ten minutes."

I glanced at my watch and winced slightly as I realized she was right.

_'Felt longer than that.'_

"Yeah well…I thought we were gonna talk?"

"What about?" Sian asked curiously

She can't be serious. I looked at her incredulously.

"Hello?" I waved my hand in front of her face. "About your little, 'this is my Sophie', hoohaa that you sprung on me today!"

"What do you want me to say? I already told you what happened Sophie." Sian said coolly as she carried on unpacking, glancing at me occasionally.

"Where do I start Sian?" I stared at her in amazement. "Er…could it be that I haven't seen you in ages…and then when I get here you throw this huge thing at me…" I gestured between us, my voice rising. "Or could it be that my best friend's just been feeling me up in front of a room full of strangers?"

Sians eyes widened and her fingers tightened around the can of coke she was holding.

"I didn't…I wasn't.." She spluttered suddenly embarrassed.

I raised one eyebrow and put my hands on my hips. "Well _I_ wasn't the one with _my_ hand on _your_ arse Sian!"

I hid a small smile at the stunned expression on Sian's face.

"Just talk to me." I said softly after a few seconds.

She cleared her throat, placed the can on the side and turned to face me fully.

"Ugh!" Sian ran her hands through her hair in frustration. "This whole thing just got _sooo_ out of hand Soph."

"That's what I don't get. What happened?"

"I told ya! Beth just assumed we were together."

"Yeah…I got that bit Sian" I replied slowly, rubbing at the side of my head.

"What I don't get, is why at that point you didn't say…'Oh me and Sophie are just friends'." I mimicked in a high pitched voice and twirled my hair between my fingers as Sian so often did.

Sian leaned over and swatted at me with the magazine she picked up from the desk.

"I don't talk like that!" She grinned at me as I rolled my eyes and defended myself with a pillow from the chair.

"Soph, I wish I had a better explanation for ya. But, I swear it all happened really quickly." Sian said, suddenly serious again.

"I believe you." I sighed, tugging at the edge of the cushion in my hands. "It just came out of nowhere. I was coming to see my best mate, but now as far as everyone else is concerned you're my girlfriend. I mean, what are we supposed to do now…" I dropped the pillow back down on the chair and walked over to the small window overlooking the car park, "…how are we even supposed to behave?"

"Behave?" Sian pulled a face.

"With each other Sian!" I said exasperatedly, throwing my hands out to the sides. "I mean, what kind of couple are we? Are we a touchy feely couple…do we hold hands everywhere we go?"

I started to pace back and forth in front of the window, fidgeting with my hands.

"Or do we save that kind of stuff for when we're alone?" I was starting to babble now, but I couldn't stop it.

"And kissing!" I stopped in my tracks and glanced over at Sian, who looked as confused as I felt.

"Do we kiss?" I asked, resuming my trek in front of the window. "Of course we kiss…that's what couples do…they kiss."

I halted once again. "Not that we're…" I pointed back and forth between me and Sian. "But as far as they're concerned we are…So you know…do we?"

I waited for an answer.

"Sian?" I asked impatiently, when one wasn't forthcoming.

Sian blinked at me. "Sorry, I thought you were still talking to yourself." She gave me a small smile, before tossing the magazine in her hands onto the desk and coming to stand in front of me.

"You don't have to do this you know." She said quietly, her eyes searching mine. "I can go back in there and just tell them all the truth, right now, if you like?"

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Some best friend I'd be then. Sian had asked me to help her, and I told her that I would. End of story.

I opened my eyes and gave her a playful little shove. "Nah. I said I'd do it, and I will. I just had a little freak out there. Over it now."

Sian shoved me back with a grin. "Thanks Soph."

"And about all that stuff…I don't think we have to change how we behave that much you know." Sian grabbed my hands and laced her fingers through them lightly. "I mean we already hold hands and hug and stuff anyway. Especially when we go out…so it's fine." She shrugged flippantly.

"That was before people assumed that we sleep together as well, Sian!" I drew out her name sarcastically.

Sian used her grip on my hands to spin me around until I was facing the bed with her standing behind me. She propped her chin on my shoulder, placed her hands on my waist and spoke into my ear. "Well, we are going to be sleeping together, Sophie!" She mimicked my tone.

"Unless…you want to sleep on the floor?" I could feel her body pressed up behind me, her breath, warm and fresh against the side of my face, and I felt trapped all of a sudden. It was feeling I had never experienced around Sian before. I'd been close to her hundreds of times before, it was like she said, we touched each other all the time anyway. Why was this suddenly so different?

I clenched my hands into tight fists as I tried desperately to steady my erratic breathing, certain that any second Sian would be able to hear my heart trying to beat it's way out of my chest.

The sudden impulse to bolt from the room was cut short when Sian gave my sides a quick squeeze and pulled away. I turned to see her pick up my bag from beside the door.

"Come on, get dressed Soph" She threw my bag over to me with a smile, oblivious to the surge of emotions that had come over me. "We're going out!" She winked at me cheekily, and pulled open her wardrobe doors.

Leaving me standing holding my bag to my chest, suddenly terrified of what I had gotten myself into.

The End


	3. Chapter 3

**Go with it  
><strong>**(Chapter 3)**

"Do you want to shower first or should I?" The muffled sound of Sian's voice came from inside the wardrobe as she searched for something to wear.

"Er…you can." I replied dully, still standing in the middle of the room holding my overnight bag, completely disturbed by my body's reaction to having Sian so close to me a few minutes before.

"You ok?" Sian asked leaning back to look at me. "You seem a bit…weird."

I groaned internally. Weird, freaked out, having strange feelings for my best friend. That about covers it.

Sian was staring at me expectantly, her eyes concerned._ 'Snap out of it!'_

"Yeah…fine" I replied faintly. Sian raised an eyebrow, not convinced. I cleared my throat and tried again. "Honestly…I'm fine." My voice sounded a little stronger. "Happy as a beaver in a bog me." I dropped the bag from my arms and placed it down next to the bed.

Sian snorted, "That's happy is it?"

"Oh yeah." I replied sitting down heavily on the bed, my unsteady legs glad for the reprieve. "Flaming ecstatic."

Sian rolled her eyes and went back to rummaging for an outfit.

I flopped back on the bed and covered my face with my arm. What the hell was going on with me? I don't see Sian for a couple of months, and then the first time I do the whole world's turned upside down?

'_This is stupid. She's my friend…my best friend'._ I thought steadily, trying to reassure myself. It's only because of the situation that it feels so weird around her. Once we get this weekend out of the way, everything will be fine again.

I resettled myself on the small bed and tugged Sian's pillow to my chest. It smelled like her. I took a deep breath, inhaling the clean, crisp scent that was all Sian.

"Er…Soph?"

I glanced up at Sian who was watching me from around the wardrobe door, an amused expression on her face.

"Huh?" I asked dumbly.

Sian raised one eyebrow and pointed to the cushion still held tightly in my grasp. "Are you smelling my pillow?"

'_Busted!'_

"What? No! Why would I be doing that?" I exclaimed, sitting up straighter and shoving the offending object off to one side.

"I dunno…" She shrugged, the small smile growing. "…but it kinda looked like that's what you were doing Soph." Sian teased playfully as she tugged a short black dress from the rack and hung it on the back of the door.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh yeah. I was smelling your pillow, because I lurve youuuu! You caught me out." I said mockingly, trying to hide the blush I could feel spreading across my skin. The knowing smirk on Sian's face told me that I hadn't succeeded.

"I wasn't smelling your pillow." I muttered with a scowl, crossing my arms over my chest in defiance.

"Course not." Sian said sarcastically as she started gathering together all of the things she needed for a shower

"I wasn't!"

"Uh huh."

"Sian." I whined.

Sian headed towards the door with her towel tucked under her arm. "Whatever you say Sophie." She called over her shoulder.

"Totally believe ya." Sian pulled open the door and smirked at me one last time before sticking out her tongue and disappearing through the doorway.

"Argh!" I pulled the pillow over my face and let out a muffled scream, stamping my foot down on the blanket.

"See! You're doing it again!" Sian giggled as she re-entered the room, picking up a forgotten bottle of shampoo from the side.

She ducked back out quickly, narrowly missing the pillow I threw at her head. It hit the closing door with a resounding thud as Sian's laughter echoed down the hall towards the shower.

The shower.

My heart rate quickened as an uncontrolled image of a naked Sian flashed swiftly through my head.

'_Whoa!__' _I unconsciously slapped my hands over my eyes in a vain effort to shut out the unfamiliar thought. _'What the fuck was that?'_

'_Norris, Norris, Norris.__' _I chanted silently in my head, desperately trying to keep my mind from slipping back to that picture.

'_Norris, Norris…__Naked Sian'_ Not working.

'_Norris, Norris…Norris and Rita.'_ I shuddered at the disturbing image. Ok that's done it.

What the fuck? I'm having naked thoughts about her now?

I peeked out from behind my hands cautiously, as if opening my eyes would automatically conjure Sian back into the room. I really couldn't face her right now.

I waved my hands in front of my face in a futile effort to try and cool my flushed skin.

I sighed deeply as I sat up and hugged my knees to my chest, cursing myself for being so stupid.

I stayed like that for several minutes, watching the seconds tick by on the clock over on the far wall. One thought tumbling round and round in my mind.

'_I am in so much trouble.'_

The End


	4. Chapter 4

**Go with it  
>Chapter 4<strong>

The music from the band in the student union was pulsing around the room, making it difficult to talk easily during the songs, and that suited me just fine. I sipped eagerly at the Vodka and coke in my hands, my fourth so far, a slight buzz starting to push at the edges of my brain. And I was more than fine with that too. In fact, peaceful oblivion sounded heavenly about now. I really didn't want to spend any time tonight with an empty glass in my hand.

'_That way thinking lies.' _I shuddered at the thought.

I took another quick sip and leaned forward to put the near empty glass back down on the table, my eyes doing a quick sweep of the bar before returning to Sian, waiting patiently on a stool at the bar.

She looked beautiful.

The black dress that she had picked out earlier fitted her perfectly, hugging her body in all the right places, and with her long blonde hair, tumbling over her shoulders in waves she made for a stunning sight.

I'd always been slightly envious of how Sian could pull off an outfit. But, it was bothering me that I couldn't figure out when I had gone from, 'Sian looks good tonight' to 'Sian looks beautiful tonight'.

Or if they were even different things.

Judging by the amount of times I'd caught myself staring at her tonight, I'd say that they were. They certainly felt different. God knows I didn't get butterflies in the pit of my stomach when I looked at her before.

I sighed deeply and reached for my drink again, watching quietly from my chair as a tall girl with bad hair approached Sian at her stool. From Sian's relaxed body language it was obvious that they knew each other, and I had to wonder what it was about Sian that made the tragically haired so drawn to her. First Ryan, and now this loser.

Bad hair must have said something funny, because Sian gave her a wide, genuine smile and a curious ache tightened in my chest until I had to look away.

'_Right ok. So you don't like it. Just relax and don't look.' _I lectured to myself.

But I couldn't help it.

Sian had twisted her legs towards the girl so that she could talk face to face, leaving the stranger with a perfect view down into her cleavage. A sly grin pulled at the corners of her mouth as she used the height difference to check Sian out fully.

Surely there must be rules about people blatantly flirting with your fake girlfriend?

Well, there absolutely should be.

Several.

The girl lent casually against the bar, a self-satisfied smile firmly in place as she reached up to brush confidently at the hair on Sian's forehead.

'_Sorry hairdo__, step too far there.' _

I took a quick swig to finish the vodka in my hand, suddenly afraid to see Sian's reaction to the touch. I couldn't keep still any longer. I pushed away from the chair determinedly and deposited my glass on a nearby table as I strode across the room.

As I approached the bar, Sian was leaning across to the barman giving her order. I clenched my jaw at the sight of the lanky gatecrasher running her eyes over the length of Sian's body as she stretched up from her stool to shout her request into his ear.

'_Cheeky bitch!'_

I clenched my jaw and plastered a fake smile on my face as I came up behind Sian and ran my hand across her shoulders.

"Hey Babe. Do you need some help with those drinks?"

Sian turned in her seat to look up at me, a curious smile on her face.

"Err Yeah, thanks." She replied loudly over the music, pushing a large vodka along the bar towards me. "Sophie, this is Lisa. Lisa this is Sophie." Sian sat with her back against the bar, her gaze switching between the two of us as she made the introductions.

"Her Girlfriend." I said assertively, as I stuck a hand out in greeting and brought my other up to rest casually on Sian's shoulders.

The smug smile slipped from Lisa's face as she frowned down at my hand in confusion.

"Oh. I…I didn't realize you were seeing anyone." She stammered, shaking my hand clumsily.

"Well, she most definitely is." I answered, flicking glances up at Lisa's head. How could I be expected to talk to her with ridiculous hair like that? I mean honestly. Audrey would faint at the sight of it.

"Anyway, I'd better get back to my friends." Lisa quickly excused herself. "I'll see you in class Sian. Nice meeting you Sophie." Lisa raised her glass in my direction.

"Oh I bet it was." I said sweetly, the phony smile still fixed in place.

"Bye then." Lisa lifted her hand quickly before turning and heading off through the crowded bar.

"Bye! I'll see you on…" Sian called after her retreating form. "…Monday." She finished quietly when it became clear Lisa wouldn't be turning around.

"Okay…Buh bye!" I let the fake smile slip as I turned back to Sian, who looked less than amused.

"What was all that about?" She crossed her arms over her chest.

"What?" I asked innocently, reaching for my drink.

"That little caveman act you just pulled?" Sian waved her hand around in front of her.

"I dunno what you're talking about." I took a long sip from the straw, hoping that Sian would just drop the subject. The last thing I wanted to do was analyze why I had just gone all 'Ugg' on some girl I didn't even know.

"Sophie!" Sian exclaimed forcefully over the music. A few people close by turned to look at us. "You might as well have just peed on me!"

"Eww." I exclaimed, pulling a face at the image. "Just…eww!" I ran my hand through my hair self consciously and gave the girl over Sian's shoulder an embarrassed smile.

Sian rolled her eyes in annoyance and took a sip of her drink. She sighed and rubbed at her temple before looking back up at me. "Look, I know you're doing me a favour with the whole 'girlfriend' thing…and I appreciate it Soph. You _know_ I do." Sian reached out and touched my hand, which was resting on the bar between us. "But don't you think that was a bit much?" She questioned gently, bending her head slightly to try to catch my eye. When I finally met her gaze, she gave me a small smile. "She's on the same course as me. We was just talking." Sian finished gently, her hand moving up to rub my arm comfortingly.

I looked back down at the floor, suddenly embarrassed by my behavior. Sian was right, what was I thinking storming over her and acting all possessive?

The truth was I had been playing catch up all day. First to Sian's little surprise, and then later to my own reactions to being around her. Something was different. I couldn't put my finger on what exactly yet, but whatever it was, it had me totally off balance.

I tried to play it down earlier as the charade throwing me into confusion, but deep down I knew it was more than that. Even at the station this morning it felt as if something had shifted in our relationship, at least it had for me anyway. It was where it had shifted to, that had me terrified.

I flashed suddenly on an image of Lisa leaning into Sian at the bar a few minutes ago. Maybe I had gone over the top, but that didn't change the fact that she had been trying to hit on Sian.

"I talk to people all the time Sian…" I paused taking a step closer to her. "What I _don't_ do, is stroke their hair out of their eyes while I'm doing it." I brushed lightly at the hair falling across Sian's forehead to prove my point. "That's trying it on."

I let my hand linger for a moment on her cheek. Sian seemed to turn into the touch slightly, her hand coming up to cover mine for a brief second before she leaned back, tucking her hair behind her ear and lowering her eyes away from mine.

"If that's trying it on, you really need to work on your moves Soph." Sian joked weakly, her eyes still on the floor, a faint blush colouring her cheeks.

"I wasn't trying it on." I said quietly, glancing down at my hand as if it had a mind of it's own. I clenched the traitorous limb into a fist and dropped it down to my side, unsettled by how much I wanted to touch her again. "I was just showing you that she was."

Sian sighed and raised her eyes back to mine defiantly. "We was _just_ talking." She insisted firmly.

"No Sian." I said sharply, becoming more and more distressed by the fact that I couldn't seem to keep control of myself around her. "_You_ was just talking." I pointed at her. "_She_ was trying to get in your pants!" I jerked my thumb in the direction Lisa had just disappeared in.

"Well? So what if she was?" Sian shrugged indifferently, her blue eyes twinkling mischievously at my increasingly agitated state. "It's not a crime…" She smirked up at me, "...and I am wearing fantastic pants." She smoothed her hands up slowly over her thighs.

"I..err..I..." I stuttered, flustered by the way Sian's hand's glided up her legs, hitching her already short dress a little higher as she did so. My eyes widening with every inch of skin she revealed.

"Sian!" I hissed, glancing around quickly. Two lads stood nearby were staring open mouthed at the display. I gave them my best 'fuck off' glare and swung back to Sian, who was smiling widely.

"So what if she wanted to get in my pants Soph?" Sian asked teasingly as she leaned closer seeming to enjoy the effect she was having on me.

"I'm your pretend girlfriend…" I protested heatedly, placing my hands on my hips.

"And I should be the only one allowed in your pants!" My voice rose to a shout as the song ended, helpfully sharing my business with everyone in the immediate vicinity.

The two slack-jawed students nudged each other viciously at my outburst, while Sian simply covered her mouth to keep from laughing.

'_Jesus! Tell me that didn't just happen.'_

"Oh for fucks sake!" I dropped my head into my hand, wanting to crawl into the nearest hole.

"Aww Soph," Sian tried graciously to wipe the huge smile from her face as I gave her a pitiful look. She grasped my hand between hers and tugged me forward until I was standing between her legs. "I'm only gonna say this one more time…" She said patiently "We was just talking…ok?"

I nodded dumbly, my gaze fixed on Sian's hand as she gently stroked the inside of my wrist softly with her finger.

"As is if I'd go out with her anyway…" Sian pulled a face, "…didn't you see her hair?" Sian crossed her eyes and wrinkled up her nose adorably.

"As your Rosie would say.." She let go of my hand and flipped her hair in true Rosie fashion. "OMG! It's like a stylistical nightmare!"

Sian giggled, bouncing in her seat slightly, a brilliant smile lighting up her face until I couldn't help but return it.

"Ahem." I cleared my throat and reached to take a sip of my drink in an effort to look casual. "Really? I didn't notice."

She is so beautiful when she smiles.

I wonder if that's why I'm always trying to make her laugh. Just so she'll look at me like that.

And I'm staring…again. Seriously, when did I start doing that? I gave my head a small shake.

"Course not." Sian scoffed, not believing me for a second. "I saw you Webster. You couldn't take your eyes off it."

"Well…maybe just a bit." I conceded with a grin, relaxing at the familiar teasing.

Sian grinned back. "Sooo…are we ok now?"

'_Are we?' _

Probably not. I had the feeling that this weekend was far from over.

I pasted a big smile on my face. "Yeah, we're good."

Sian's grin got even wider. "Good. C'mere."

She stood up and wrapped one arm around my neck, pulling me into a hug. I hesitated for a split second before looping my arms around her waist and closing my eyes.

For the first time all day, I didn't second guess the feelings being this close to her stirred up. I let myself relax into the embrace, the rush of emotion that was starting to become familiar now, rolling over me like a wave.

Sian traced her hand around to the back of my neck and gave it a gentle squeeze, before pulling back far enough to whisper in my ear. "Come on gorgeous. Lets dance!"

Sian grabbed my hand and tugged me along behind her.

"Look all you like boys…" I smiled smugly at the students who had been so eagerly watching our conversation, as Sian pulled me around them towards the dance floor. "…but I'm the one she's going home with!"

Sian smiled sweetly at me over her shoulder, and I felt an answering thud in my chest.

'_Yep…far from over.' _I sighed to myself.

The End


	5. Chapter 5

**Go with it  
>Chapter 5<strong>

I blinked one eye open carefully, wary of the dull throb that was creeping slowly from the back of my head to pulse steadily behind my eyelids.

When opening one eye didn't bring about the apocalypse of hangover that I'd feared it would, I gradually opened the other and blew out a long breath.

'_Ok, so far so good.__ Both eye's still working: Check."_ I snuggled further under the covers and mentally catalogued the damage I had inflicted on myself the night before.

'_Well, I'm under blankets for__ a start. So…not lying naked in a ditch somewhere. Bonus points for that I think.' _I smirked childishly to myself._ 'Wait! Naked?' _The thought finally registered in my fuzzy brain and I slowly lifted the covers to peek underneath, dreading the confirmation of what I already knew.

I was naked.

Well, as good as. The skimpy pair of pants that I had worn the night before didn't leave too much to the imagination. But, it was better than nothing I supposed. I closed my eyes and sent up a small prayer of thanks that I had decided against going commando.

I opened them slowly again, still fearing the onslaught of the monster hangover I was certain was looming, and carefully raised my head to look around the room.

I let out a relieved sigh as I saw the familiar posters covering the walls of Sian's room. At least I'd made it back here. The last thing I wanted to be doing was wandering around London in my skimps, trying to find a non-descript building that I'm only 47% certain is near a bridge, shouting 'Sian!' at the top of my voice.

I smirked, thinking that I probably wouldn't get too far before the cops came. Speaking of skimps, where the hell was my bra? I scanned quickly around the room. The sun streaked through a crack in the curtains, hitting the floor and sending a strip of light across the carpet, highlighting the clothes thrown haphazardly around the room. Guess I was in a hurry to get undressed.

I finally spotted it dangling over the edge of the desk, just on top of a piles of books and next to Sian's underwear.

'_Sian's underwear?'_

I let the reality of what I was seeing sink in for a few seconds before I gripped the edge of the covers again. I pulled in back with only one eye open, which seemed to reflect how I felt about seeing what was underneath, a mixture of both apprehension and anticipation.

Sian's back was to me, the blonde curled up on her side towards the edge of the bed. I breathed a sigh of relief to see the white tank top and grey running shorts covering her slim frame.

'_What the fuck happened last night?'_

I let go of the covers and dropped my head back down onto the pillow as I tried desperately to recall the events of the previous night. If I was going to get naked with Sian, I at least wanted to remember it afterwards.

A jumble of images flickered through my head. Ok well, I could quite clearly recollect the early part of the evening, so that was something. Not much. But I would take anything at this point

I remembered the student union, and Sian's hideously haired friend. I also remembered making a complete arse out of myself, shouting about getting into Sian's pants to anyone who would listen.

_And_ the memory of dancing with the blonde was seared into my brain so much that I didn't think I would ever forget it.

I squeezed my eyes shut and took long, steady breaths as a blurry image of Sambuca shots popped into my head, making my stomach roll rebelliously.

"Mornin." Sian's voice was low and hoarse as she turned towards me, rubbing sleepily at her eyes, and I felt it's effects all over my body.

"How you feeling?" Sian looked me up and down as I clutched the sheets under my chin tightly.

". I think. Er…What..?" The flush of embarrassment burned up the back of my neck to the tips of my ears. "What happened last night?"

Sian grinned at me mischievously, stroking her hand down my arm lazily. "Oh, don't you remember baby?"

I felt the shiver run across my skin. I was really starting to think that she enjoyed torturing me like this.

I leaned up onto my elbows, pulling the covers higher up my chest as I glowered down at her. "Sian!"

"Relax Soph." Sian laughed loudly. "Nothin happened. You got drunk, we came back here, and by the time I got back from the bathroom you were passed out in your pants and snoring." She stretched her hands up above her head with a yawn, the move causing her short white top to ride up a little and exposing the flat, smooth skin of her stomach.

'_Mind in naughty places Webster.' _I looked away quickly and rubbed a hand over my face.

"I don't snore." I grumbled, trying to keep my eyes from Sian's body.

"Er yeah…you do." Sian poked her finger into my ribs.

I yelped, trying to swat away her prodding limb before finally grabbing her arm with both hands, holding it tightly when she tried to pull free.

"Well, at least I wasn't the one throwing her arms around on the dance floor like a disco gibbon was I, Sian?" I teased, keeping a firm hold on Sian's arm as I began to tickle her sides mercilessly.

"Sophie." Sian said warningly as she twisted herself around trying to free herself from my grasp. Her body pressed closer to mine until I could feel her pushed against the length of my side. The trail of heat that followed where we touched made me ache. My mind screamed at me to stop, knew that this was a terrible idea that wouldn't end well, but my body was past caring. I continued to scratch my fingers along Sian's stomach while Sian wriggled desperately beside me.

"I'm warning ya Soph." Sian said lowly through gritted teeth, still struggling. I shuddered at the husky words. God, when had her voice started affecting me like this.

"Oh yeah?" I said, deliberately goading her. "What are you going to do about it eh Powers?" I raised my eyebrow in challenge.

"Oohh…You asked for it Webster."

I smirked in response.

'_Bring it'_

Sian yanked her arm back suddenly and sprang forward, surprising me. She straddled my legs, bending over to lock her fingers around my wrists and pushing them down on either side of my head. Before I knew what was happening, I found myself with a lapful of pissed off blonde.

And she was breathtaking.

Her hair had become dishevelled from all the squirming around, and now several strands fell invitingly over her forehead and into her eyes. I clenched my fists tightly; thankful that I couldn't reach up and gently brush them back.

Our eyes locked as Sian noticed the tension in my body.

"Oh yeah…It's my turn now Webster." She boasted in a singsong voice.

I closed my eyes, thankful that she had mistaken my unease for apprehension.

How the hell did I end up here?

I couldn't just quietly slip out of bed and go for a sodding shower could I? No, that would have been far too easy. I had to go and push it.

I seemed to be doing that a lot lately where Sian was concerned.

I opened my eyes and tugged at my hands a little, but Sian simply tightened her grip on my wrists and sniggered.

"Not getting away that easy Soph." Sian swayed down towards me slightly, waggling her eyebrows adorably.

She looked so beautiful. So incredibly beautiful…and so close. It would be easy to reach up and capture her lips.

"Sian…" Her name came out like a plea, and I couldn't be sure whether it was for her to come closer or move away.

My eyes flickered from the clear blue eyes that were intently searching mine, down to moist pink lips and back again.

All I could feel was Sian. Her gaze, her smell, her touch. She surrounded me…and I was drowning.

'_There are worse ways to go I suppose.' _I decided inwardly, my upper body lifting towards her, our lips inches apart.

"Hey! Do you fancy going for something to ea….whoa!"

Both of our heads snapped to the side as Sian's housemate Dan knocked and walked into the room without waiting for an answer.

Sian swung her head back and forth between the two of us before her eyes locked onto mine once more with a wide eyed stare. Her mouth opened slowly as if she wanted to say something and then snapped shut once more.

"Well, well, what do we have here then?" Dan smiled widely, leaning casually against the door.

"We're playing Buckaroo. Why?... how do you play it?" I said sarcastically flopping back onto the bed, not quite sure if I was pissed off at the interruption or secretly relieved.

"Sophie." Sian released my wrists so that she could lean back a little and swat my head lightly. My breath caught in my throat as the movement caused her thighs to press firmly against my sides as she resettled herself on my legs.

'_Definitely pissed off.' _I scowled intensely at Dan from behind Sian, willing him to fuck off. Or you know, rewind time and then fuck off.

She rolled her eyes at me before turning back to her friend. "Dan, don't be a twat."

Dan held his hands up in apology. "Sorry, I'll wait outside the door next time. Forgot your bird was in town." A sly smile appeared on his face. "Was just asking if you wanted to come for something to eat…but I guess that's kind of what you were doing."

Sian frowned at the lame joke, grabbing the nearest pillow and throwing it towards the general direction of the door. "Funny! Just give us a minute, yeah?"

"You two take _all_ the time you need." Dan fended off the attack and retreated into the hall. "I'll just be in my room…" He laughed as he closed the door. "…totally not thinking about what I've just seen."

"Eww!" Sian scrunched up her nose and then smiled shyly down at me. "Sorry, he's completely harmless. We always go and get something to eat on a Saturday." At my raised eyebrow she grinned. "Yeah yeah, well he's mostly harmless. Anyway, I don't think we'll have to work too hard on convincing everyone we're together now. It'll be all over the halls in five minutes that he caught us going at it."

"Yeah…" I brushed my hands through the tangled mess of my hair and tried to slow the rapid beat of my heart. "Great."

"Aww Soph…" Sian smiled playfully and brought her hands up to cup my face. "Don't worry, your virtue's safe with me."

'_Take it! Jesus! I don't want it to be safe.' _I frowned as the unsettling thought rattled around my head.

Was that what I wanted?

A few minutes ago I would have said yes. A few minutes ago I would have said yes to anything as long as Sian's legs were wrapped around me and she was looking at me like that. But, the moment had passed, and with it came the cold reality that this was Sian I was talking about. My _best _friend. Did I honestly want to risk our entire friendship, for a second of madness?

I grabbed Sian's hands, pushing them gently to the side and rolling my body out from underneath hers. I felt the loss immediately as I threw my legs over the side of the bed and reached for a t-shirt.

"Sophie?" I could hear the concern in Sian's quiet question, but I didn't turn around, didn't trust myself not to tell her everything I was feeling. Or worse, just pounce on her. Consequences be damned.

"I'm gonna grab a quick shower ok?" I gathered up my things quickly, flicking a swift glance at Sian, who hadn't moved since I had pushed her away. Her eyes fixed to the bed, one hand holding the covers in front of her, as if for protection.

I faltered for a second at how vulnerable she looked curled up against the wall.

"Yeah sure." She murmured weakly, her gaze finally meeting mine uncertainly. "Everything ok? I mean, I didn't upset you did I?"

I cursed myself for making her feel like this was her fault. _'Stupid, stupid.'_

I tried for a smile, making it somewhere halfway between that and a grimace. "The only thing that upsetting me, is the fact that I smell like a badger. So I'm just gonna…" I gestured towards the door and tried to look self-conscious.

Sian gave me a small grin and nodded. "See you in a bit."

I stepped out of the room and made quickly for the safety of the shower. Where I could try to get my head together. Or just bang it repeatedly against the wall. Whichever worked best.

The End


	6. Chapter 6

**Go with it  
>Chapter 6<strong>

"Stop it." Sian leaned across the booth and said the words quietly into my ear.

"Stop what?" I asked innocently munching on my toast, my eyes never leaving their target. I was fully aware of what she was talking about. Sian's friends Dan and Beth stood at the counter of the small café talking to the owner, a small, middle aged woman who reminded me a little of Roy as she flitted around the kitchen.

"Stop scowling at him Soph. I told you, he's harmless.." Sian snagged the nearly full slice of toast from my fingers and took a bite. She pulled a face, her nose wrinkling up endearingly as she stared down at it in confusion, like she couldn't quite decide what was wrong with it.

"..and it's making you frowny." Her face suddenly cleared, she put the slice on her own plate and began searching the table for something.

I took a second to simply watch her, fingers carefully lifting up all the items on the table, as if what she was looking for would simply be hiding underneath, and I couldn't help but smile tenderly at the display.

I shook my head at my own sentimentality and focused instead on what she had said.

"I am not frowny!" I scoffed indignantly, lowering my voice when a few people turned their heads. "And anyway, he keeps smirking at me. Like he's picturing us naked. It's creeping me out."

We hadn't talked about that morning, and I didn't know how to bring it up. When I got back from the shower I had pasted a huge smile on my face and made a big deal about being starving, and Sian seemed to jump at the chance to get out of the room for a little while. So here we were, in a small café not far from the halls, neither of us talking about how close I came to kissing her.

Sian threw me a quick glance, her eyes zeroing in on my forehead. She brought her fingers up and traced over the ridges she found there, causing my eyes to cross trying to follow them. "Frowny." She concluded certainly and turned back to her quest. "And of course he's picturing us naked. We weren't exactly wrapped up in duffel coats this morning were we?"

"Ah ha!" She crowed, reaching across to the empty table behind us and holding up a packet of butter triumphantly.

Adorable.

She's completely adorable.

I couldn't keep the huge smile from my face as I stared at her openly. Sian looked at me questioningly as she opened the packet. "What?"

I simply pointed to the butter and raised one eyebrow.

"Yeah well." Sian muttered defensively, her cheeks colouring. "You never put enough on.

"Well maybe you shouldn't steal my toast then ey? And it's not my fault he walked in on us like that. If you can't handle the tickle twins.." I held up my hands and wiggled my fingers comically. "..that's your problem."

I tried to stifle my laugh behind my hand as Sian jabbed her knife into the butter and glared at me.

"Forget what I said. I think I prefer you frowny." She grumbled. "Right, now that you've made fun of me, you have to stop glaring at the poor bloke."

I stroked my chin thoughtfully and let her think I was pondering her logic for a minute before shooting her down.

"Nah, Nice try Powers." I picked up my drink and smirked at Sian over the rim of the mug.

"Come on Sophie." Sian coaxed, sliding closer to me and lowering her voice. "You never know, if you're a good girl I might even show you just how much I can handle your 'tickle twins'."

I choked painfully on the mouthful of tea I had just taken. A warm hand soothed over my back as I gasped for air, coming to rest on my shoulders as the coughs finally subsided.

She's trying to kill me. She's _actually_ trying to kill me.

"You ok?" Sian asked softly, turning my shoulder's a little to look at me with concerned blue eyes.

"I..I…erm…I..I'm fine."

She was sitting so close that I could almost feel the length of her body pressed up against me. The thought was playing havoc with my senses.

I swallowed nervously.

The clean scent of her shampoo enveloped me as Sian leaned forward, gently brushing a strand of hair from my face. She kept her hand on my cheek for a few seconds and grinned down at me.

"What ya like Soph?"

The desire to kiss her threatened to overwhelm me and I pulled away abruptly, causing Sian to tip backwards slightly. I stuck out my hands and grasped her forearms to steady her.

"Oh shit…I'm sorry!" Smooth Webster. You were supposed to move away, not attack the poor girl. "I'm so sorry. Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." At my skeptical look Sian tried to reassure me. "Honestly Soph, I'm fine...I love it when people randomly jump at me" She teased lightly, rubbing her hands up and down the backs of my arms, which were still clasped at her elbows. "Keeps me on my toes." She gave my biceps one last quick pat, flashed me a crooked smile, and moved to turn back to her food.

I groaned inwardly.

'_Too close.'_

I can't keep having these insane moments of nearly kissing her, or gazing at her adoringly all the time. As it is, Sian must be starting to think that I'm a little crazy, bouncing around her like a Tigger on speed.

I need to get a grip.

I took a deep breath and turned to face her, intent on explaining myself somehow.

Sian beat me to it.

"So, you'll stop with the scowling right? You're giving the poor boy a complex."

Sian grasped my arm and looked at me with sad eyes.

"Please?" She drew the word out as long as she could, gripping the sleeve of my shirt and pouting at me temptingly.

Dammit.

"Not fair Sian" I grumbled, taking her hand away from my arm so that I could fold it across my chest. "Ugh, I don't like you sometimes Powers."

"Yeah you do," Sian said happily, sensing victory.

'_Yeah I do' _I sighed deeply._ 'I really, really do.' _

She swung around to the table and resumed re-buttering her toast. Sian sucked a stray blob of butter from her thumb and winked at me cheekily.

"Here we go love birds, more toast." Dan grinned at us as he and Beth approached the table. He slumped his tall, lean frame into the seat opposite us, and slid along to make room for the small, red-head behind him. "Or do you two need another minute?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Before I could open my mouth to reply I felt Sian's hand on my leg again, telling me without words to play nice.

I forced a small smile and leaned back in the seat, my hand still wrapped around my cup on the table. "No, we're good."

"So Sophie, how did you two get together then?" Beth asked quickly trying to move the conversation on. "For all Sian's raving about you she hasn't really told us much about it. You met at school right?"

"Er…Yeah we did." I nodded and took a long taking a sip from my tea to buy some time. I glanced over at Sian for support only to find her conspicuously absorbed picking at a tear on the table edge. I scrambled for something else to say. "We met at school."

'_Brilliant! Just repeat her own words back to her. That'll throw em off__. Jesus!'_ I cringed at my own stupidity.

"We..Er.." I rubbed nervously at my jean covered legs.

I felt Sians fingers slide over one knee to grasp my hand and give it a reassuring squeeze. I looked over to find her smiling at me softly, before turning to face her friends.

"We were best friends." Sian smiled over at me. "We still are. I can't remember what life was like before Sophie." Her eyes searched mine as she continued. "I wasn't looking for it, but when you find that kind of connection to someone, you just kinda have to go with it."

"And Sophie's just.." Sian looked down at the white mug in front of her, scratching one finger down the handle absently. She raised her eyes across the table, I wasn't quite sure who she was looking at as I couldn't tear my gaze from her profile. "..Well she's just.."

"She's just beautiful. In every way." She finished quietly, lowering her head back down to concentrate on her cup again. I suddenly realized that my mouth had opened somewhere in the middle of her speech, and I was now doing a great impression of a guppy fish.

Every time I think I've gotten Sian completely figured out, she fucking blows me away.

I just couldn't get away from a small nagging doubt.

Something she had said. 'Go with it.' That was the same thing she said to me yesterday in the halls. God, was it only that long ago?

The whole thing was just an act. A big fucking act to fool her friends. And I wasn't even sure why.

I was so stupid to think even for just a second that she meant any of it.

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. The whole room seemed to be closing in on me.

"I just need to go to the…" I blindly reached for the edge of the table, spilling the salt as I stumbled upright. "…er..be back in a sec."

I pushed violently into the toilets, kicking the door shut as I went. Furious at myself for getting so caught up in Sians little speech, for letting myself fall into it so deeply. Just because I wanted it so badly, it didn't make it real. I couldn't let myself forget that again.

I took some steadying breaths and splashed cold water from the sink onto my face.

'_Get a grip Webster.'_

I headed back out to the café, stopping just inside the hallway that let to the toilets to observe Sian from a distance.

Her bright blue eyes shone with amusement as she laughed at whatever Dan was telling her.

'_Who am I kidding?' _I thought desperately. Knowing that it's not real doesn't change how I feel.

I want her.

I want her, and if I don't get away from here I am going to end up doing something stupid. Something I can't take back.

"Wow."

"Huh?" I looked over at Beth, who came away from the nearby counter sipping at a bottle of water. "Sorry. Did you say something?"

Beth smiled and screwed the lid back on the bottle in her hand.

"I'd give anything to have someone look at me like that." She paused and glanced quickly over to where Sian sat chatting to Dan. "The way you look at her."

I opened my mouth to reply but nothing came out.

"Oh..I..we." I tried to steady myself. "Er…yeah."

I stood there for a few seconds trying to think of something else to say, something less idiotic, but I couldn't. Eventually I gave up and simply stared down at scuffed lino under my feet.

"You ready to go?" Beth smiled and tapped my shoulder before wandering over to Sian and Dan.

"Yeah..." I said faintly to her back, lost in my own thoughts. "..I think I really need to go."

The End


	7. Chapter 7

**Go with it**  
><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

I sat slumped against the wall on Sian's bed, my arms wrapped tightly around my knees and staring at my packed bag on the floor, waiting for Sian to come back from wherever it was she had said she was going. I couldn't remember. I wasn't really listening.

I dropped my head on to my jean clad knees and banged it up and down repeatedly.

'_Stupid, Stupid, Stupid.'_

The walk back from the café was a blur. Just a jumble of scarcely heard conversations and the cool autumn rain soaking my hair. The only concrete things I could recall were Sians fingers tangled loosely around my own, shooting electricity up my arm, and the overwhelming urge to be anywhere but here.

So here I am. Bags packed and ready to run.

Because I finally figured out the problem. The real reason why everything has felt so off balance between us. And it's a complete mind fuck let me tell you.

I love her.

I'm in love with Sian.

I'm totally, and completely, head over pissing heals in love with my best friend.

It's kind of pathetic really.

I think I always have been. I mean, I've tried to kid myself that it all started this weekend. That it was never there before. But that's bollocks, and I know it.

I don't know when it really started. I couldn't give you a day or even a month. I suppose I just found myself looking at her a little too often. Watching the way she moved. Caught myself getting distracted one too many times by the way she tucked her long blonde hair behind her ears as she talked, or chewed at her bottom lip when she got nervous.

How suddenly, being close to her was uncomfortable and yet exhilarating at the same time, like being on a roller coaster.

All these little things that I should have noticed sooner. Like sitting at the bus stop in the cold, just so I could spend an extra five minutes with her before she left, or standing in the middle of my bedroom smelling her perfume after she'd gone.

A thousand little things, that all added up, until now loving her was like breathing.

And yet here I was, pretending to be the girlfriend of the best friend that I was actually in love with, and who's bed I had woken up virtually naked in this morning.

'_When did my life turn into a__ bloody soap?'_ I groaned throwing my head back to the wall and pulling my legs a little tighter to me.

"So, what do you fancy doing later?" Sian stepped into the room, rubbing lightly at her damp hair with a towel. "We could go see a film or.." She stopped abruptly just inside the door, her brow furrowing in confusion as her eyes landed on my bag.

"What's going on?" Puzzled blue eyes skipped quickly from the bag, to me on the bed and back again. "Soph?"

I straightened my legs and pushed forward to the edge of the bed, settling my feet on the floor.

I cleared my throat and lifted the long strap from my bag into my hands, passing it through my fingers anxiously. "I have to leave." I said quietly, staring at the towel clutched tightly in her hands, unable to meet her eyes.

"I don't understand. Did something happen?" She asked swiftly, her voice full of concern. "Is everything ok at home?"

She threw the towel over the back of the nearby chair and knelt on the grey carpet in front of me, her hands covering mine gently. "Sophie?"

"No.." I said weakly, finally meeting her worried gaze and hating myself for being the cause of it. "No..it's nothing like that. I just..need to go."

Sian's frown deepened. "Why?" She asked hesitantly, as if afraid of the answer. "Did I do something wrong?..Upset you.. "

I mentally kicked myself for being such a bitch.

"No!" I said intensely, cutting her off so that I didn't have to listen to her blaming herself for my stupidity. "No Sian.." I continued quietly. "It's not you, it's me."

I rolled my eyes at the throwaway words. They sounded pathetic, even to me. I felt pathetic, and I needed to get out of this room.

I made a show of glancing at the clock; I could feel Sian watching me intently. "I have to go, there's a train soon." I tightened my hands around the strap I still clung to and stood up hastily, causing Sian's hands to drop away as she rose alongside me. Her whole body was tight with tension.

"Sophie? What the fuck?" She grabbed at my forearm as I turned to leave and spun me back around to face her.

I shook my head, refusing once again to meet her gaze. "I'm sorry." I whispered brokenly. "I have to go." I pulled my arm free and fled quickly out of the room before Sian could say anything else.

The tears came as I stumbled into the stairwell, the door to Sian's floor slamming shut with a finality that echoed in my soul.

I paused on the top step, one hand braced on the metal rail for support.

'_Keep moving.'_ I told myself silently. _'Just keep moving.'_

I ran my hand through my dark hair quickly and headed down the stairs.

It was time to go home.

The End


	8. Chapter 8

**Go with it  
>Chapter 8<strong>

"Sophie! Wait!"

I turned suddenly. Sian was emerging from the door to her halls, slipping her arms into her leather jacket as she hurried to catch up, her untied laces trailing along the pavement as she ran.

I turned away, hitching my bag higher and walking determinedly down the street, in what I hoped was the right direction. "Just go back Sian!" I called desperately over my shoulder wiping hurriedly at my cheeks, not wanting Sian to see the traces of my tears.

"Sophie please!"

I could hear her footsteps getting closer and I cursed the heavy bag on my shoulder.

'_Just had to__ listen to Rosie didn't you? Had to bring extra shoes.'_ I thought bitterly as I sensed Sian behind me.

I turned to face her, torn between wanting to smile at how cute she looked with her hair still damp from the rain, and her untied shoes, and wanting to scream at her to leave me alone. But I just stared at her, waiting for her to talk.

"Soph! What's goin on?" Sian asked after a moment, throwing up her hands in exasperation.

"I told you Sian. I just have to go that's all." I said faintly, trying to keep my expression closed. Not wanting to give anything away.

Sian closed the distance between us in two quick steps. "Talk to me Soph." She pleaded quietly reaching for my hand. She knotted our fingers together and pulled me off to one side, through a rusty iron gate that covered an old bridge arch. She led me to the wall, took the bag gently from my shoulder, and dropped it on the floor nearby.

Sian came to stand in front of me, concerned blue eyes searching mine. "Whatever it is…I'm here for ya." She whispered, reaching up to brush my hair away from my face softly.

I wanted so badly to lean into the touch. Let myself get carried away by it.

But I couldn't. Not again.

Not with her.

"It's nothing." I sighed heavily, reaching up to pull her fingers away from my face and releasing her hands.

Sian frowned at my actions, her eyes narrowing as she stepped back and crossed her arms. "Don't give me that crap! It's not nothing."

"It is nothing." I answered dejectedly, flicking my eyes around until they settled on an old newspaper on the floor. "I'm done."

"You're done?" Sian sounded confused. "Done what?"

"I don't want to do this right now Sian." I said flatly, my shoulders sagging back against the bricks as I slid down to the floor. The exhaustion pushed solidly against my chest like a weight, keeping me in place. "I'm just so sick of it."

"Soph." Sian breathed quietly. She knelt next to my feet and ducked her head a little, trying to catch my eye. When I refused, she grasped my face with both hands, lifting it up tenderly.

I closed my eyes, unable to look at her beautiful face. "Don't! Please." I whispered desperately, my resolve wavering. "Please don't touch me."

She withdrew her hands as if they had been burned. "Why're you being like this Soph?" Sian asked, her voice distressed.

"Please. Just go."

"Sophie…"

"Sian please!" I was begging now, but I couldn't take this. Every day of my life having to watch what I said around her and how I said it. I wouldn't be able to stand seeing that look of hurt on her face over and over again because she felt like I was hiding something from her. It's better to just walk away now, while I still have the strength.

I'm not proud of what I'm about to do, but right now I don't see any other choice. Please forgive me Sian.

"God, are you thick or something?" I hissed as I opened my eyes to look at her, my eyes narrowing. Sian's whole body stilled, her face paling at my cruel words. "Take the hint yeah? I don't want to talk to you!"

I saw the wounded look in her beautiful blue eyes before she dropped them quickly to the floor, and it killed me. I dug my nails hard into the palms of my hands, hoping the pain would be enough to block out the ache in my heart.

It wasn't.

Not even close.

'_Time to finish what you started Webster.'_

I pushed up from the cold floor and tried to keep the tremor out of my voice.

"I don't want to talk to you."

Sian stood and retreated a few steps backwards towards the gate. She kept her gaze focused on her shoes and I was grateful that I couldn't see the sorrow I was causing.

"I don't want to tell you what's wrong." I said mockingly, as I slowly walked towards her, my voice rising with every step. "I don't want to have a sleepover and do each others fucking hair! Ok? And I don't want to play this stupid fucking game anymore, pretending that we're something that we're not!"

"Sophie! I..I don't understand." She breathed quietly, her eyes flicking briefly to mine before trailing back her feet. Finally she mumbled, "I..thought.."

At last, I reached the gate beside her. I twisted my finger through the iron mesh and swung it open onto the street.

"You thought wrong." I said dully. "I don't want to do this anymore Sian. I just want you…"

A part of me wanted to leave it at that. To let those words hang in the air and damn the consequences.

But I'm not that brave.

I was so close to her now that I could smell her perfume and the familiar rush of emotion I got whenever I was around Sian made me falter for a second. Sian still had her head bowed, her face hidden by her hair. She looked so vulnerable, with her shoulders hunched over as if protecting herself from a blow and her hands stuffed deep in the pockets of her black leather jacket. I took a deep breath to steady myself and pushed on.

"I just want you to go." I finally whispered.

I wanted to go after her. I wanted to run down the street, spin her around, and tell her everything. Spill my heart all over the stupid tarmac. At least then, when she walked away, I might feel something more than I do now.

Defeated.

But I can't. I can't even move my feet.

When she looked back at me from the corner she's never been more beautiful, and I hated myself for making her cry.

The End


	9. Chapter 9

**Go with it  
>Chapter 9<strong>

"Argh!"

I threw the magazine I had been trying to read for the last hour across my room, grunting with satisfaction as Justin Bieber's shiny face bounced forcefully off the wall and ended up in a crumpled heap on the carpet. I flopped back onto my bed with a frustrated sigh and threw my arms across my eyes.

'_Why is it when you want to forget about something it's all you can flaming think about?'_ I huffed grumpily to myself, mad at my inability to think of anything but Sian.

It was late Sunday afternoon, and I'd been back from my disastrous trip to visit her for around 24 hours, though it felt much, much longer. I'd spent the train ride home in tears, earning me a few funny looks from the other passengers and a disgusted glare from the conductor as I paused just long enough in my sniveling to hand him my mucus covered ticket.

By the time I arrived back home I had been all cried out. Just a shell with rid-rimmed eyes and a voice hoarse from sobbing. So, when I fed my Mum and Dad some bullshit story about being violently hung over, they took one look at me and bundled me off to my room with some water and enough headache tablets to choke a donkey. God bless ignorant parents.

I'd ventured out only twice since then. Once to the bathroom, and once to search quickly through the freezer for ice cream whilst trying to get away from Mum before the subject of my visit with Sian came up. Thankfully, we only made it through how she was going out later for a romantic meal with Dad, and how well Rosie was doing in her new flat before I broke for the stairs again and the solitude of my room.

Basically I was a mess.

A huge mess that had spent the last 24 hours glued inside my dressing gown, wolfing down Ben & Jerry's like there was no tomorrow.

A forceful banging on the front door pulled me back to the present, and it took me a few seconds to remember that I was the only one in the house. I briefly considered not answering, but I had visions of a scantily clad Rosie stood on the doorstep calling Mum's mobile because she didn't have her old keys with her, and the last thing I wanted was for them to come home early. I reluctantly pulled myself out of bed.

"Alright, I'm coming!" I shouted as I thundered down the stairs. "Don't bang the flaming door down will ya." I muttered, pausing on the last step to yank the ties of my star covered dressing gown tighter.

My steps faltered as I flicked the hall light on and recognized Sian's familiar outline through the distorted glass.

"Open the door Sophie!" Sian's urgent demand was quickly followed by another sharp rap on the door, startling me out of my stunned daze.

I unlocked it quickly, pulling the door wide open before I had a chance to think better of it and run back up to my room to hide under the bed.

"Sian..?"

Sian stood stiffly in the doorway, both hands shoved deeply into the pockets of her jacket as she looked up at me determinedly.

She tugged one hand free and gestured briefly between us. "We need to talk." Her cool tone and the way she pushed past me on her way to the living room making it perfectly clear that she wasn't going to take no for an answer.

'_Christ, she's sexy when she's angry.' _I frowned deeply, annoyed at the traitorous thought as I stood rooted to the spot in surprise. I spent a few seconds trying to pull myself together before I edged cautiously around the door into the living room.

Sian had stayed just inside the entrance, her hands tucked back in her pockets as I skirted around her and crossed to the archway that led to the dining room, trying to put some distance between us. I couldn't seem to think straight when I was near her. My brain just short circuited, stuck in a loop of blue eyes and mesmerizing smiles. If I was honest, being across the room wasn't much different, but at least here I could resist the overwhelming urge to reach out and touch her.

I shuffled nervously from foot to foot waiting for her to speak, already dreading what she would say. But, she didn't say a word. She just stood there, her posture tense, watching me with remote blue eyes that I could no longer read. The thought of how far apart we had become in such a short space of time made me ache, and what was worse, I only had myself to blame.

"What are you doing here Sian?" I blurted out hurriedly when I could no longer stand the heavy silence.

It was a stupid thing to say, and I wished I could take it back the moment the words left my mouth. I knew exactly what she was doing here. It was silly of me to think that Sian would just let it go. But I thought she would call, or text, I didn't think for a second she would come all the way back to Manchester.

"Is that it? That's all you've got to say?" Sian looked at me incredulously. "You run off yesterday, without any kind of explanation, and all you can ask is what am _I_ doing here?"

She lowered her voice and stepped towards me, her eyes fixing resolutely on mine. "I want some answers Sophie."

I couldn't argue with that. If this were the other way around I would want the same. Trouble is, I didn't have any to give her. Nothing but the truth anyway, and I was nowhere near ready for that.

"I told you, I was tired of playing games for other people." I muttered self-consciously, my eyes never quite meeting hers. A half truth is better than nothing I suppose. I still hadn't figured out why she needed this whole fake relationship in the first place. Her friends seemed like nice enough people, even the ones who walked into rooms uninvited, I'm sure they would have understood if she had explained it to them.

So yes, I wasn't totally happy about pretending to be her girlfriend. And no, it wasn't the real reason I ran away, but Sian didn't need to know that. I ran away because I couldn't handle her _pretending _to love me. The things she said in that café, the way she looked at me, I wanted so much for it to be real.

But it wasn't.

It never would be.

And now that I'd had a taste of what it would be like to be with her, going back to just friends would kill me. And it would slowly eat away at our friendship until there was nothing left.

Sian shook her head. "Playing games for other people?" She repeated slowly as if trying to understand. The excuse sounded even more feeble when someone else said it, but I nodded just the same, stuck on a course of action that I couldn't change.

At last, Sian's calm demeanor broke as she jerked her hands from her pockets and threw out her arms in annoyance. "What the fuck does that even mean Sophie? Playing games for who?" She asked heatedly, closing the gap between us.

"Everybody! Beth, Lisa, every random bloke that walks into your room. Take your bloody pick!" I cried indignantly, matching Sian's tone as I stumbled backwards into the dining room, trying to maintain some distance. "This whole weekend was like a fucking circus. With you as the ringmaster and me like the clown, just running around trying to keep up and falling over my huge fucking shoes!"

Bollocks. I really wish I hadn't started that analogy. I was well aware of how crazy I was starting to sound.

I don't even like clowns.

They're creepy. Who knows what serial killer thoughts are hiding behind those painted on smiles.

Sian let out a surprised snort, unable hide the smirk that crept onto her lips as she followed me, standing on the opposite side of the table. "Really? That's the image you're going with?" She tilted her head to one side, regarding me with an amused expression. "You don't even like clowns."

Dammit! She knows me so well.

That's another problem with falling for your best friend, They already know all your shit.

I tugged at the collar of my dressing gown, suddenly feeling hot and flustered at my own stupidity, and more than a little irritated by the knowing smile on Sian's face. I yanked at the belt, pulling the gown off and throwing it down onto the table in front of me, leaving me dressed only in a white tank top and red shorts. Sian's eyes flicked away from mine abruptly, darting down to the floor for a few seconds and then back up again, smirk still firmly in place.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and squeezed my eyes shut. "Just…just forget about the clowns ok?" I pulled my hand away from my nose and scrubbed it across my face in frustration. "You know what I mean. Pretending to be something we're not to fool your friends. That was the point wasn't it? Or did you lie to me too?"

The smile dropped quickly from Sian's mouth, a flash of hurt flickered briefly in her eyes before she set her face back into a cool blank mask. But she didn't offer any kind of comeback. Well, she had started this whole mess by lying to the people she lived with.

Sian simply stared at me blankly, hands tucked in the back pockets of her jeans, a small twitch in her jaw the only outward sign that she had heard me.

Ok, so that's not entirely true. She didn't start this. I did, when I went and fell arse over tit for my best friend. One part of me really wanted to know the answer, wanted to know what she had been thinking. And the other, more childish part of me, wanted to hurt her the way I was hurting. Either way, I was out of line.

"I'm sorry." I whispered quietly, one hand already reaching out instinctively towards her before I caught myself and quickly pulled it back. I blew out a breath and tried calm the erratic beating of my heart. "That wasn't fair. And I shouldn't have run off the way I did yesterday. I..I'm just…"

"I'm just sorry ok?" I quietly a few seconds later when I couldn't think of anything better to say. Sian stared at me intently, her eyes searching mine for answers I hoped she couldn't see.

Eventually she sighed and shrugged off her jacket, revealing a blue thigh-length top underneath. She tossed it down carelessly onto my dressing gown, clearly planning to stick around for a while. It baffled me how that notion could both delight and terrify me at the same time.

"I just want to understand what happened, Soph." She said uncertainly as she fiddled with a placemat on the table with one hand. I watched the action closely. I loved her hands. They were so delicate and so strong at the same time. Just like her really. I let my eyes linger for a few more seconds before I pulled my attention back to Sian as she spoke softly. "You ran off… I was in a mess when I got back to the halls…"

I looked down at the floor, wanting to kick myself at the hurt I could hear in her voice. Hurt that I had caused.

"…And Dan and Beth were really confused." Sian continued, oblivious to my inner turmoil.

I glanced up swiftly, bristling at the idea that this was all about them for her. Again. "Wait! Is that why you're here? Because of what your friends think…"

Sian cut me off before I could finish.

"Ugh! Will you please stop saying that? I'm not here for my fucking friends Sophie!" Sian turned away towards the window, running a hand through her hair in frustration.

"Then I don't understand."

"No, you're right about that. You don't understand anything!" She hissed lowly as she spun her head around quickly and strode towards me, her brilliant blue eyes glittering angrily.

The intense fire swirling in the sapphire depths shocked me into taking a step backwards, one hand unconsciously reaching out to steady myself as I collided clumsily with the counter. Sian's brow furrowed in confusion as she watched my withdrawal, her eyes widening slightly as her shoulders sagged. All the anger that had simmered so close to the surface only seconds before seemed to drain from her body.

"Sophie." She inhaled deeply, rubbing distractedly at the back of her neck. "Don't you get it? That was never…" The words were said so softly that I instinctively leaned forward, straining to hear.

Sian seemed to take the move as an invitation and she took a step towards me, one hand stretching between us to stroke my upper arm lightly. "That was never what this was about for me." She finished a moment later.

"What was it about?" My voice sounded small and distant. How could that be? As far as I was aware, the distance between my mouth and ears was the same as it had always been. A ridiculous part of me wanted to glance at my reflection in the window to check.

"Oh Soph," She breathed as she took another step closer, looking deeply into my eyes. She brought both hands up to rest briefly on my shoulders before lifting one hand up to gently brush the hair away from my face. Her hand lingered, slipping back down to gently cradle my jaw.

"It was about you." She leaned forward slightly, bringing her forehead down to rest against mine while her other hand slid up from its position on my shoulder to frame my face in a tender grasp.

We were standing so close I could feel her body pressed intimately against mine, her breath hot on my face as she whispered fiercely, "It was always about you."

Sian closed the remaining distance between us and brought our lips together gently.

The End


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Sian's lips were soft and tasted faintly of spearmint as she moved her mouth slowly over mine, her hands still lightly cupping my face.

I stood limply in the embrace, too stunned by the fact that it was actually happening to move. I simply sagged against the counter I was trapped against, my arms left hanging loosely by my sides.

The kiss was gentle and reverent, just a brief brushing of her lips over mine and then, all too quickly, it was over. Sian's lips left mine suddenly as she dropped her hands and took a step back, leaving me unbalanced as my body followed hers involuntarily.

I opened my eyes hastily, reaching out a hand to steady myself on the worktop. I blinked slowly as the room came steadily back into focus, my eyes meeting Sian's startled blue ones. She had already retreated a few steps, one trembling hand pressed up against her lips. She moved backwards again, gradually getting further and further away from me until she bumped clumsily into one of the chairs tucked under the dining room table.

"Oh God!" Sian breathed softly, her voice quivering. "I..I…I'm sorry." She dropped her hand from her mouth and wrapped both arms across her stomach.

She hung her head, taking deep ragged breaths. She looked so fragile. I wanted to rush across the room, take her in my arms and kiss that pained look from her face.

But I couldn't move.

I was pretty sure that if I took a step my knees would buckle. So I stayed where I was.

I wanted to tell her that it was ok. Wanted to tell her that we could work this out. Whatever _this_ was. And that she didn't have to be afraid.

But I couldn't speak.

I was pretty sure that if I opened my mouth the only sound that would come out would be 'flibble', and how the fuck would that help. So I didn't speak.

I didn't move and I didn't speak. I could only watch, stunned, as Sian snatched up her jacket from the table and bolted from the room, the front door rattling in its frame as she darted through it.

'_What the fuck just happened?' _I stared dumbly at the hall doorway, as if Sian would somehow magically reappear. Eventually, after a few minutes I came to my senses, realizing how stupid that idea was and my confusion quickly turned to anger.

'_What, does she think she can come in here, with her minty fresh breath and her fancy lips, kiss ambush me like that in my own kitchen, and then leave?'_

Well, not if I can fucking help it!

I grabbed a grey hoodie from a coat hook in the hall, yanking it on quickly as I bolted out of the door, my eyes scanning frantically up and down the street for any trace of Sian.

It was deserted.

'_Come on, think.'_ It was a Sunday, which meant there would be no buses running at this time of night. Which left…Street cars. I sprinted quickly in the direction of their offices, praying I was right.

I raced around the corner to that led to their office, coming to an abrupt halt as I spotted her across the street, sat huddled up on a bench. Her legs were curled up beneath her and one knee bent up in front of her. Sian's eyes widened as she spotted me. She brought her hands up to grasp around her raised leg, propping her chin up on her knee and regarding me cautiously.

I took a deep breath and crossed the street slowly, wary that she would just run for it. But she stayed where she was, her eyes following me as I made my way towards her.

She dropped her legs to the floor as I reached her, her hands falling onto the worn bench either side of her knees.

"Sian" I whispered questioningly, unable to think of anything else to say.

Sian shook her head and cleared her throat. "Steve said a taxi will be here in about fifteen minutes. I'll be out of your way soon." Sian's eyes never left her converse trainers as she swung her feet anxiously.

"You're leaving?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yeah well, thought I'd take a leaf out of your book." Sian sneered sarcastically, placing her hand on her legs and rubbing her hands up and down vigorously. She let out a long sigh before dropping her head and mumbling quietly, "It's for the best Sophie."

I snorted at the ridiculous statement. Sian leaving was never for the best, not for me anyway.

"That's easy for you to say, you're not the one who had to come running after you half dressed are you?" I gave her a small smile hoping to lighten the mood.

"You didn't have to come running after me at all." She answered wearily.

"Yeah I did." I frowned deeply at the defeated tone of her voice.

"Why?" Sian asked, her expression guarded.

"B..Because, you kissed me Sian!" I spluttered, as if that explained everything.

"Yeah? So?" Sian raised her head, staring at me defiantly.

"So?...So.."

'_Oh_ _for fucks sake, is that the best you can do?' _I clenched my jaw painfully.

Sian looked as unimpressed by my lack of verbal skills as I was. "Ugh. Whatever, it's fine." She waved her hand dismissively. "I kissed you…and you didn't kiss me back. It happens. Let's just forget about it ok?"

Didn't kiss her back? Was she insane?

I opened my mouth to speak, to deny what she was saying, but nothing came out.

Because she was right, I hadn't kissed her back.

I froze.

Sometimes, when you get everything you had been hoping for, you don't react the way you think you will. Sometimes, you don't react at all. Your brain shuts down for a second and before you know it the moments passed, and you're left standing in your kitchen watching the girl of your dreams bolt out of the bloody door.

"Like I said, lets just forget ok?" Sian's face was unreadable as she slapped her hands down onto the bench and pushed herself up.

She looked down at me over her shoulder. "I'm just going to go see about that taxi, ok?"

And here I was, doing nothing again. _'Well, Bollocks to that!'_

I seized her hand, using it to spin her back around as I rose hastily from the bench.

"W..Wha? What are you doing?" Sian asked bewildered, surprised by the sudden move. Her eyes flicked down briefly to our joined hands before fixing on mine uncertainly.

"Kissing you back." I whispered intensely, my eyes dropping to her mouth as I reached for her.

Where the first kiss had been soft and tender, this was urgent and demanding. I gripped the lapels of her jacket, pulling Sian tightly into me as pressed my mouth insistently against hers.

Sian let out a muffled sound of surprise, her hands clutching desperately at my waist before she tensed and wrenched her mouth away from mine.

"Sian.." I watched her carefully, my breathing uneven, praying I hadn't made a mistake. "I'm sorr…"

"Shut up, Sophie." Sian cut me off, her eyes on my lips as she lifted her hands to my neck and pulled me to her once more.

This kiss was gentler but no less intense than the last, as I finally surrendered to all those bottled up feelings for my best friend. Sian's tongue stroked tentatively along my bottom lip as she slowly deepened the kiss and I pulled her closer, wanting to feel more of her.

Sians hands moved slowly from my neck, stroking lightly down my arms to stop at my waist, where she reached up under the hem of my hoodie and stroked softly at the bare skin beneath. I couldn't suppress the shudder of pleasure that the gentle ministrations evoked and I felt Sian smile against my mouth.

'_Holy shit!' _

Sian eventually broke the kiss, her nose grazing mine softly before she wrapped her arms around my neck once more and rested her head against mine.

"You ok?" The words were whispered tenderly into my ear. Sian's breath ruffling my hair as she spoke.

"Yeah." I squeaked, my voice sounding ridiculously high. I could feel Sian's smile against the side of my cheek as a flush of embarrassment burned across my face. I cleared my throat and tried again, relieved that my voice seemed to have returned to normal. "Yeah, I'm fine. Better than fine. Good. Great even…Ahem Good. Yeah."

'_Oh for the love of Jammie dodgers, please stop talking.'_

I felt Sian's laugh rumble through her chest and I was overcome with happiness. I took a step back from the embrace so that I could look at her fully. She looked beautiful. Her hair tousled slightly by the breeze, blue eyes shining with laughter, and I had to fight the desire to kiss her again. I trailed my right hand downs Sian's arm and linked our fingers together loosely, not quite ready to lose the connection entirely just yet. From the quick squeeze that Sian gave my hand and the warm smile on her lips, it seemed that she felt the same way.

"I'm just a bit confused about everything that's happened this weekend, that's all." I said uncertainly, not wanting to break the spell we had been under for the last few minutes by bringing it up. I shivered a little, rubbing my free hand briskly up and down my bare thigh as the autumn chill quickly reminded me how inappropriately I was dressed. Now that I was no longer running on adrenaline or wrapped up in Sian's warm arms, the bitter wind stung mercilessly at my exposed legs.

Sian watched me closely, taking in the goose bumps that covered my legs and the slight chattering of my teeth as I shifted from foot to foot in an effort to warm up.

"Soph.." She said quietly, stepping forward and running her hands swiftly up and down my arms. "You're freezing."

"Little bit." I shuddered once again, this time in reaction to having Sian's hands on me again. God, this girl would be the death of me.

I grabbed one of her hands between both of mine, bringing it up between us, and kissing her fingers delicately.

"Want to come back to mine?" I lowered my head trying to catch Sian's gaze, which was focused on our joined hands.

Sian's head jerked up quickly, a sly grin forming on her face as she waggled her eyebrows suggestively. "Oh ay?"

I rolled my eyes at her. "To talk." I replied firmly, dropping one of my hands from hers and tugging her along behind me.

"Whatever you say Soph." Sian laughed cheekily as she fell into step beside me, her hand tightening reassuringly around mine. "I believe ya."

"Good." I nodded my head.

'_That makes one of us then'_


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

"Do you want something to drink? Tea?" I glanced over my shoulder at Sian as we entered my living room before skimming my gaze swiftly around the room, checking that everything was just as it was before I raced out of the house. I'd been so focused on finding Sian that I hadn't locked the door. I could just imagine having to explain that one to my Mum.

"Well see Mum what happened was, I went to London, realized I'm in love with my best friend, ran home, she followed me, kissed me in our kitchen, then she ran off, I chased her around Coronation street half naked and kissed her back.

No, no, I didn't lock the door.

Yes, yes, we were robbed.

No I don't know if they took your favourite tea towel."

Something like that anyway. Only, with more screaming.

Sian hung back just inside the door, her hands shoved deep into her jacket pockets, and I smiled at the familiar sight. It was something she did without thinking, when she was nervous or unsure, she would stick her hands in her pockets, like a protection against the world. It was also unbelievably cute. I wiped the grin from my face, deciding to keep that piece of information to myself for now.

"Er…yeah. Tea. Please." Sian nodded vigorously, her eyes shifting uneasily around the room. "Tea's good."

"Ok. Two teas. Coming up." I turned towards the kitchen, chuckling slightly at Sian's nervousness, and then swung back around with a smirk. "I don't need to lock the door, do I? Make sure you don't do another runner?"

To be honest, I was a little surprised that it wasn't me displaying all the classic signs of anxiety instead of Sian. God knows that out of the two of us, it would usually be me jittering around the room like a hopped up Tigger, not her.

Sian snorted at the joke, some of the apprehension easing from her body as she laughed and replied with a wide grin. "No. That's ok." She drew her hands out, shrugging off her jacket and settling herself in one corner of the sofa. "I'll be right here." Sian pointed down at the couch beneath her. The smile was still in place as she lifted her gaze to mine, but there was a sincerity in her eyes now, as if she wanted me to know that she wouldn't be the one to run away this time.

I'd meant it as a joke, just something to break the tension in the room, but I couldn't stop the feeling of relief that coursed through me at the knowledge. Maybe I didn't want to admit the fear, even to myself

"And I'll be right back." I matched her expression, wanting her to know that I felt that way as well, that we were in the same place.

Because, whatever this was, I was done running from it.

Been there, done that, got the ice cream headache to prove it.

Sian smile widened once again as she looked up at me from her spot on the settee, and I couldn't help but match that too.

'_Come on Webster, you can't spend all night grinning at her like a goober' _I thought self-consciously after a few seconds.

"Right…tea." I broke her gaze reluctantly and moved quickly to the kitchen.

I spent the next few minutes busying myself making the tea, trying not to think about how big this talk was, and how things between us would never ever be the same. If I thought about it, my brain would probably explode with the enormity of everything that had happened this weekend. So I didn't think about, I just made the tea, and if my hand started shaking so badly that the sugar bounced uncontrollably from the spoon all over the worktop, then that was because I meant for it to happen, Goddammit!

Sian was still sitting in the same place when I returned. I stopped just inside the archway to the kitchen to watch her. Her head was thrown back against the cushions, one arm thrown out carelessly across the arm of the sofa, her eyes closed peacefully. She looked so much more relaxed compared to ten minutes ago, and it was hard to believe this was the same girl who had been shuffling so hesitantly inside the doorway.

The thought struck me that she had fallen asleep, that we wouldn't get to have this conversation after all, but Sian's eyes drifted open slowly as if she sensed my presence in the room, and she smiled up at me warmly. Sian threaded her hands together and stretched her arms out in front of her with a yawn, wincing as her knuckles cracked loudly in protest.

"Sorry." She murmured self-consciously as she reached out to grasp the steaming mug of tea from my hands and placing it down on the coffee table. "Just a little tired."

I smiled in sympathy as I sat down on the opposite end of the sofa and did the same with my cup.

I grabbed a cushion and pulled it onto my lap, partly because I wanted something to occupy my hands, and partly to cover my legs that were still bare.

The move didn't go unnoticed by Sian. Her eyes swept slowly down the length of my legs and back up again, lingering torturously at the top of my thighs before flicking back up to my face.

Had she always looked at me like that? With such heat?

No, she can't have done. I would have noticed that, wouldn't I?

A flurry of images from the weekend flashed rapidly through my mind. Sian's arms wrapped around me in her room, the two of us dancing so closely in the union, her straddling my waist on her bed seconds before Dan barged into the room. I had been so caught up in trying to keep a hold of my own feelings, that I hadn't been paying attention to the fact that Sian had been looking right back at me with the same intensity.

'_Oh Jesus!'_ How the fuckity fuck did I not notice that?

I swallowed nervously, shifting awkwardly in my seat, not knowing what to do with the surge of adrenaline I was feeling in reaction to her intense stare.

Part of me wanted to bolt. But, there had been plenty of that already this weekend. From both of us. And a bigger, less intelligent part of me wanted to jump across the settee and pounce on her, talking be damned. Talking was overrated. I could think of a thousand better things we could be doing with our mouths anyway.

My thoughts must have shown clearly on my face because Sian smiled knowingly and dropped her eyes, breaking the spell. She blew out a long breath and reached out for her drink from the table.

"Soooo…you kissed me." Sian stared down at the cup clasped between her hands, the not so innocent grin still tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"Yeah well…you kissed me first." I muttered, feeling a blush prickling its way across my cheeks.

Sian glanced up at me and gave a small laugh. "I did." She paused for a second. "Is that something we do now?"

"Do _you_ want it to be?" I answered her question with one of my own, still more than a little anxious that her answer would be no.

Sian didn't answer for a few seconds, her eyes never leaving her mug, which did nothing to calm my already jangled nerves. Eventually she put her cup back on the table and turned towards me purposefully.

My attention was drawn down to her hands, which were fidgeting nervously in her lap, her nails clicking quietly as she snapped one thumb across the other repeatedly.

Sian inhaled deeply, her clear blue eyes meeting mine intently, and I braced myself for the disappointment I was sure was coming.

"Sophie…I'm crazy about you." Sian declared openly, stealing my breath from my body in an audible whoosh.

I blinked slowly, trying to comprehend what I had just heard.

"I always have been." She continued, her eyes staring past me now, oblivious to how stunned I was. "When you were so upset yesterday and you didn't want me to touch you, I thought you'd finally figured it out, and that you didn't want anything to do with me."

I racked my brain quickly trying to think of when I'd told Sian not to touch me, it didn't seem like something I would say. Touch me more maybe, never less.

Then it came to me. Under the railway bridge.

She had grasped my face so tenderly between her hands that I was afraid that I would tell her everything. I didn't even consider how she would feel at those unthinking words. I winced as I remembered the wounded look in Sian's eyes, the way she had snatched her hands back instantly as if I'd scorched her.

'_You pillock Sophie!' _I chastised myself bitterly. If I'd have opened my eyes even once this weekend we could have saved ourselves a whole load of heartache.

Sian scooted towards me, reaching up with one hand to soothe her thumb over my furrowed brow. "Hey," She whispered gently. "I'm sorry. I just kind of dumped all that on you didn't I?" Her hand moved down to cup my cheek. "I promised myself I wouldn't do that. That we'd take this slowly. But I just…I thought.."

Sian sighed and moved to draw back.

"No!.." I grabbed her hand before she could pull it away. "No…" I tugged on her hand, pulling her to me and wrapping my arms around her neck.

Sian returned the hug, her arms spreading up across my back and tightening the embrace. I let myself relax, soothed by the steady sound of her breathing and taking in the light, fresh scent of her shampoo as I pressed my face into her hair.

"I'm crazy too, you know" I murmured into her ear after a few moments of comfortable silence.

Sian let out a surprised bark of laughter at my choice of words and pulled back to look at me with an amused grin. The kind that made always made my heart beat faster.

"I..I..meant about you." I stuttered, my cheeks colouring with embarrassment. I closed my eyes trying to regain some composure.

It seemed that all my ideas about Sian not affecting me so much now that I could be more open about my feelings, were complete, and utter bollocks. If anything, knowing that she felt the same about me provoked even more of a response.

I opened my eyes, meeting her gaze fully. "I'm crazy about you too." I said certainly, wanting there to be no more doubt. I cupped her cheeks with my hands, stroking the skin softly with my thumbs.

Sian let out a long slow breath and closed her eyes. When she opened them a few seconds later they were shining with unshed tears and I fell for her all over again.

I kissed her gently, putting all of my feelings into the kiss, hoping she would understand.

I pulled back with a sigh, placing one last peck on Sian's lips and rested my forehead against hers. "So…" I questioned happily, suddenly reminded of something Sian had said. "…When you said that you've _always_ been crazy about me…you meant?"

"Always." Sian whispered, her hand grasping behind my neck and pulling my mouth to hers once more. "Always." The words breathed against my lips as she kissed me fervently, making all other thought impossible.


	12. Chapter 12

**Go with it**

**Chapter 12**

"I should get going." Sian said the words quietly above my head, regret colouring her voice.

I leaned to one side, twisting in her arms so that I could blink up at her bewilderedly from my position between her legs.

"Huh?"

We had been sitting sprawled across the sofa in comfortable silence for the last fifteen minutes, each lost in our own thoughts. One of Sian's hands had been running absently through my hair as I clasped the other across my stomach and played idly with her fingers, fascinated by the strength I found there.

Sian smiled down at me softly, lifting her hand to affectionately brush my hair behind my ears before kissing my forehead delicately.

"I said I have to go." Sian repeated, her thumb sweeping over the frown that appeared on my brow at her words.

"Hey…" Sian ducked her head to meet my eyes, her hands cupping my jaw. "I don't want to. _Believe _me; I definitely don't want to go _anywhere _right now."

"Then don't." I wrapped my fingers around her wrists, feeling ridiculously close to pouting.

"But…" Sian drawled, a half grin tugging at the corner of her mouth. "I have lectures in the morning, and the last train will be leaving soon."

'_The last train.'_ A train that would be taking Sian all the way back to London.

Away from me.

I had been so wrapped up in my feelings, overwhelmed really, by what was happening between us, that I hadn't taken into consideration a few unwelcome realities. Number one being, that for the foreseeable future Sian lived a hundred and fifty miles away.

'_Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!'_

It couldn't just be easy, could it? A part of me wondered whether I should play it cool, even pull away from this a little.

I sighed deeply, pulling gently on Sian's wrists and moving them away from my face as I sat up fully, swinging my legs to the floor. Sian pulled up her knees to accommodate the change of position, leaving her sitting crossed legged at my side, our joined hands resting on the couch between us.

Sian seemed to sense my apprehension, her fingers squeezing mine reassuringly. "Soph…" She whispered leaning forward, waiting until my eyes met hers. "I know that this is gonna be hard. Me living away, both of us at uni, and this all being so new. And I know that we need to talk…_really_ talk about everything."

"But, we can make it work. If…" Sian paused, pulling one hand away from mine to pick nervously at her sock. "…if that's what you want?"

'_Oh, I flaming want!"_

Fuck playing it cool. I was never very good at that kind of thing anyway, that was much more Rosie's area of expertise. Well, that and dressing like a hooker.

The simple fact was I wanted this…wanted her. And no, it might not be easy. But nothing good ever is, is it?

"I want." I said firmly, echoing my thoughts. "I definitely want." I covered her hand with mine, stilling it from its agitated task.

Sian's body seemed to sag a little with relief, her fingers tightening around mine.

"I just didn't really think about all that other stuff." I shrugged.

"No…me neither." Sian answered, shaking her head. "I didn't think _this_ would ever happen." She gestured between the two of us to emphasize exactly what she meant by '_this'_ and then dropped her hand back down to stroke the backs of my fingers with her thumb.

I watched the movement happily, relishing the simple caress as Sian continued. "…to be honest, when I did let myself think about it, I wasn't exactly thinking about all the obstacles."

She smiled shyly and then bit her bottom lip, a faint blush colouring her cheeks. "It was much more the kissing and inappropriate touching that I focused on."

Ha!" I snorted, grinning widely. It was nice to know that I wasn't the only one having those kinds of thoughts and I fought the urge to do a happy dance around the room. "Oh really?"

I pulled my knees up underneath me to mirror her position.

"Hm mm" Sian nodded, the blush darkening.

"Well, I do have a nice comfy bed upstairs y'know." I teased playfully, tilting my head towards the stairs. "Oh wait!" I frowned, pretending to remember something. "...you have to go."

Sian blinked at me in surprise, her mouth opening into a gape. I bit back a laugh at her dazed expression, reaching out to gently hook my finger under her chin and close her mouth.

Sian's eyes narrowed as she glanced at me and saw my badly hidden smirk.

"Grr…don't tempt me woman!" Sian growled, as she grabbed a fistful of my hoody and tugged me forward, giving me a swift, hard kiss.

My hands shot out to try and steady myself as I jerked forward. When Sian released me her hands stayed tangled in my top, our faces so close that I could feel the soft, warm puff of air tickling my cheek as Sian exhaled.

Blood roared through my veins, making me feel slightly dizzy, and I wondered if I would even survive doing anything more than just kissing this girl.

"Don't start what you can't finish Sophie." Sian quirked one eyebrow smugly as she leaned back.

I nodded faintly, thinking that was probably good advice. No point making a bigger tit of myself than I usually did, was there.

Sian pulled her legs down from the couch and stood up, offering me her hand. "Walk me to the door?"

"Y..Ye..Yeah..sure." I stammered still feeling the effects of her kiss. I pushed myself up slowly and reached for her hand, praying that my legs would hold me. "Be rude not to really."

"Ooh your Mother would be so proud." Sian teased, pulling me around the sofa towards the door.

I crinkled up my nose at that, as I let myself be dragged along behind her like a grumpy toddler. "Err…probably not if she'd walked in here half an hour ago, when I had my tongue down your throat."

We came to a stop in the hall, Sian turning to face me and taking both of my hands in hers.

"Err hello." Sian said sarcastically. "I'd take your Mum over my Dad any day."

I quirked my lips and looked up at the ceiling, pretending to think about it for a second.

"Yeah me too." I nodded eventually, earning myself a playful shove in the arm.

"Oh the violence." I laughed, rubbing at the spot.

"Shut up you." Sian muttered, reaching out to pull me tightly against her. "C'mere."

I sighed into the embrace, my hands coming up to tangle through Sians hair and caress the back of her neck lightly. We stayed like that for a few moments as I closed my eyes, trying to commit the feeling of being held by her to memory.

"Thank you." Sian murmured quietly, making my eyes flutter open in confusion.

"Huh?" I asked dumbly. I pulled back, struggling to think of what I had done that deserved thanks. "What for?"

Sian gazed at me affectionately, her blue eyes twinkling. "For kissing me back."

"Oh." I said faintly, not sure I should be thanked for making the smartest decision of my life.

Sian smiled at me indulgently and then leaned in to kiss me softly.

"Bye Soph." Sian said, pecking my lips one last time before pulling open the door and stepping out into the night as I watched from the doorway. She turned at the end of the path, giving me a grin and a half wave that made my knees wobble.

I stayed there in the door until she turned the corner, her hands shoved deep into her pockets, body huddled against the cold and I had to resist the urge to chase after her again.

I walked slowly back into the living room, running my hands through my hair as I wandered around, a little unsure of what to do with myself now Sian had gone.

My phone beeped on my third lap of the couch, saving me from wearing a groove into the carpet and having to deal with the wrath of Mum. A delighted smile spread across my face when I saw Sian's name in the sender's box.

The smile blossomed into a full blown grin as I read the sweet words enclosed within.

I miss you already!

I closed my eyes and clasped the phone to me, my heart tripping in my chest. I blew out a breath and typed out a quick reply, hitting send.

I miss you too!

My fingers tapped restlessly against the side of the phone as I watched the screen, waiting for an answer.

When it came a few seconds later, the reply was so typically Sian that I couldn't stop myself from smiling uncontrollably.

Good!

God how I loved that girl.


	13. Chapter 13

**Go with it  
>Chapter 13<strong>

"Alright, that's it!" Mum slammed her knife down on the table with a loud bang, causing me to jump in my seat, flicking milk up from the spoon that was halfway to my mouth. "What's going on Sophie?"

"Bloody hell!" I scowled at her from across the table as I rubbed ineffectually at the stain on my blue wide necked top with a shirtsleeve. "What are you on about Mum?"

"You've been acting strange all week. Ever since you came back from visiting Sian in London." Mum always said the name _'London' _with a weird mixture of wonder and distaste. As if the place both fascinated and repelled her in equal measure. She had spent the week before my trip alternating between telling me which tourist attractions I should visit, to making me watch 'Oliver Twist' as if it were a documentary on how to spot a pickpocket.

I honestly didn't see the problem. As far as I could see, London seemed just like Manchester. Same shit, different football team.

I dropped my head down quickly, pretending to closely inspect the mark, in a vain attempt to hide the huge grin that unconsciously formed on my lips whenever Sian's name was mentioned.

It had been four days, ten hours and thirty two minutes since Sian had left. Which in my opinion was four days, ten hours, thirty one minutes and fifty nine seconds too long.

I missed her.

I missed her beautiful face, her smile, the way she whispered my name against my lips when we kissed.

We'd talked on the phone, even skyped a few times, and the frequency that we sent texts to each other was bordering on the ridiculous.

But it wasn't enough.

I glanced back up, hoping that Mum was going to leave it at that, only to find her studying me intently.

"What? I can't just be happy?" I muttered letting go of my top and reaching for my spoon again.

"There's happy…and there's unnaturally happy. For God's sake…you were grinning at your Cheerios Sophie!" Mum snatched her knife back up and continued buttering her toast with a renewed vigour.

"Well they _are_ called Cheerios Mum." I said smiling around the spoon at the aggravated look she threw my way. "Clues in the name."

"Very funny."Mum replied dryly. She ate her toast in silence, occasionally throwing questioning glances my way as I did my best to look casual.

Eventually she finished her breakfast and pushed up from the table, gathering her plate and taking it to the sink. She busied herself rinsing water over the dishes and then turned back to face me, still clearly bothered by my recent actions.

Mum opened her mouth to speak and I cursed myself for not making a break for it when I had the chance. I'd been hoping that if I stayed and acted all cool and laid back until Mum left for work she would think that there was nothing to worry about.

I should have known better. Cool and laid back is _sooo_ not my style.

"Yesterday, you spent twenty minutes in the conservatory looking at the rain, babbling about how raindrops were beautiful, wondrous globules of perfection." Mum raised one eyebrow and tapped the side of her head repeatedly. "Lunatics do that Sophie"

'_Well that's lovely.'_ I'm being compared to nutters now?

I rolled my eyes, unable to decide whether I was amused or annoyed by what Mum was implying. I was in love, and according to my Mother, me being in love came across to other people as mental. On the other hand, if I looked closely at some of my behaviour lately, she might have a point.

"And Julie." Mum continued, waving her hand around dismissively in front of her. "Lunatics and Julie. Which might be the same thing…Anyway, you see my point."

"Err…" I stalled, trying to think of a quick way out of this conversation.

I loved Sian, I really did, and I wanted this relationship to work more than anything, but I was_ not _ready to have the coming out talk with my Mum over tea and toast.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that conversation should be had over whisky and vodka.

I glanced around the room weighing up my options. I don't think it would go down well if I just ran for it. I'm sure there must be some advice for this kind of situation. Like...no sudden movements, stay downwind and whatever you do…don't run…

…wait, that's for a lion attack isn't it? Then again, having seen my Mum in full on interrogation mode, it was practically the same thing.

"What was the question again?" I asked, feigning innocence as I picked up my cup and took a sip of tea.

"Sophie?" Mum sighed deeply like she was bracing herself for something. "Are you taking drugs?"

"Ha!" The tea exploded from my mouth, spraying over the table with an impressive range.

Mum brought a cloth and began fussing around the table as I wiped unhappily at my face with my sleeve.

'_Well that's this top buggered for today._' I sighed, holding it away from me and checking out the damage. I sniffed hesitantly at the material; I didn't want to curdle as I sat there.

I glanced quickly at my watch. It wasn't even 8am yet and I would already have to change my outfit.

"This must be what Rosie feels like."I mumbled under my breath.

"What?" Mum asked sharply, her penetrating gaze on me once more.

"Nothing...Just...Are you serious Mum? What do you mean am I taking drugs?" I asked indignantly.

"Like I said, you've been acting very strangely..." Mum gave me a long searching look. "...and muttering to yourself isn't helping, Sophie."

'_I don't flaming believe I'm hearing this!' _What the hell is she thinking? Eighteen years of being the sensible sister and yet one weekend in London is enough to push me into a drug habit?

"No ok?" I looked her straight in the eyes. "I'm not taking drugs."

"Alright." Mum nodded, looking satisfied. Well, that was easy.

"God, I smile for a few days and you're ready to send me off to rehab!" I ran my hands through my hair in annoyance. "Or better yet, call out the exorcist. Well thanks a lot!" I pushed back from the table quickly and headed towards the stairs. I stopped on the first step, one hand on the banister and looked back over my shoulder.

"Was I really that much of a miserable cow before?" I asked seriously, not really sure if I wanted to hear the answer.

Mum looked thrown, as if the thought had never occurred to her.

"No…no, of course not love." She stammered, wringing at the dishcloth she still held in her hands.

"It's nice actually." Mum said quickly, halting me in my tracks.

"What is?" I glowered at her from my position on the stairs. "Me acting crazy?"

"No…seeing you happy." She absently ran the cloth over the back of a chair as she spoke, a small smile touching at her lips.

"Oh." I blinked at her, unable to think of anything else to say.

"Sooo, is there a boy involved in this new found happiness of yours?" Mum asked, slyly looking up at me.

'_Oh crap!' _I looked up the stairs, calculating how fast I could get to my room.

"Um…no." I hedged carefully, climbing a few steps. "No Boy."

Well it wasn't an outright lie. There was no boy. I just neglected to mention there was a girl, that's all.

"Ok." Mum agreed all too readily, the crafty smile still in place. "Well..if you want to talk..." She left the suggestion hanging and I saw my chance to bolt.

"I will, Mum." I nodded my head as I backed up the stairs, appeasing her.

'_I bloody won't' _I thought as I turned and sprinted out of sight.

I hit the speed dial as I bounded up to the landing, smiling goofily as a picture of Sian appeared on the screen. She answered after the second ring, the sounds of London traffic rumbling incessantly in the background telling me that she had already left for her morning lectures.

"Morning beautiful." Her voice was soft and intimate against the harsh noises around her and I felt my whole universe shift back into place.

"You'll never believe the conversation I've just had with my Mum!" I stated bluntly in place of a greeting, smiling as I heard Sian chuckle at my words. I changed the phone to my left ear so that I could open the door to my room, kicking it shut with my foot before flopping down onto the bed.

"What's the matter? You haven't been using her best mugs again have you?" Sian asked with mock indignation.

"Very funny." I muttered, settling myself against the soft pillows. "Apparently I've been acting very odd."

"And?" Sian giggled. "What's new?"

"Ha ha ha. Yeah yeah...you're killing me here. She thought I was on drugs, Sian!" I moaned.

There was a long pause and then I heard Sian laugh, loud and openly on the other end of the line.

"It's not funny!" I grumbled, picking absently at my white, leaf covered bedding.

I rolled my eyes as the laughter continued even louder than before.

The sound became muffled as Sian suddenly pulled the phone away from her ear and I heard a muted conversation as she apologised breathlessly to some guy for bumping into him.

"Oh God..." Sian spluttered as she returned to the line. "Oh, that's funny."

"It's not funny!" I whined again. "It was a complete nightmare."

"Aww, poor baby." Sian soothed, calmer now.

"Well now she thinks I'm seeing someone." I told her quietly. "She asked if there was a boy."

Even though I knew Sian wanted to be with me, I still had no idea of _how_ exactly she wanted that to work. Or even how I wanted it to work.

We really needed to talk.

"What did you say?" Sian asked somewhat apprehensively and I grinned as I imagined the cute little furrow between her eyes.

"I dodged the question..." The grin faded and I closed my eyes, rubbing worriedly at my forehead. "...sort of."

"We should probably talk about all of this kind of stuff, shouldn't we?" I asked hesitantly. "But I don't really want to do it on the phone."

"We should..." Sian agreed softly. "...and we won't have to."

"Huh?" I mumbled dumbly, mentally trying to catch up with the conversation.

Sian laughed again, sending a shiver through my body.

"I'm coming up tomorrow after classes. We can talk about everything over the weekend..." She paused as if considering something. "...I mean, if that's ok with you?" She finished shyly.

'_Is she kidding?' _

I'd spent the whole week thinking about her, missing her, dreaming about her...wanting to touch her so badly I ached. According to my mother I'd spent the whole week acting like a drugged up crazy person because I missed her so much. Did she honestly think for a second that I _wouldn't_ want to see her?

Well, it was nice to know our powers of miscommunication were as strong as ever.

"Sian..." I began; unsure of how to tell her just how much I wanted to see her without scaring the poor girl away. "...your arse better be on that train!"

Sian chuckled, sounding relieved. "Okay babe...I'll call you later yeah?"

"Okay. L..." I clamped a hand over my mouth, horrified at what I had so nearly blurted out. "Later." I covered quickly, hoping Sian hadn't noticed the slip.

"Bye Soph." Sian answered seemingly oblivious. I ended the call and blew out a sigh of relief, pulling my knees up to my chest.

'_Oh fuck! I almost said love you!' _

There was no way in hell that we were ready for that. We hadn't even been a couple for a whole week yet. Actually, I didn't even know if we were calling ourselves a couple yet for fucks sake.

I shook my head and jumped up from the bed, stripping off my ruined top as I headed for my wardrobe. There would be time for all the negative stuff later. Right now I was focusing on the positive.

Sian would be back in my arms by tomorrow night.


	14. Chapter 14

**Go with it  
>Chapter 14<strong>

I tapped the side of my foot against the plastic panel of the bus stop in an anxious rhythm.

I was nervous.

I'd already tidied my room...twice. Tried on five different outfits. Although God knows why, Sian has already seen everything I own anyway. And generally driven my parents well and truly up the wall.

Her bus wasn't even due for another forty-five minutes but I hadn't been able to stay in the house for another second. As soon as Mum had started eyeing me with that, 'What's going on with you?' look and the vein in her temple had bulged to twice its normal size, I knew it was time to make a hasty escape.

I hadn't fared much better at school either. I'd ditched afternoon lectures in the end, after spending the whole morning unable to concentrate on anything but the clock. They could have been telling us that the French Revolution had been started by The Smurf's for all the attention I had paid.

_'Probably make it a lot more interesting if they had. Peasant uprising's…don't they make you blue.'_I giggled childishly at my own joke before glancing around quickly to make sure no one was around.

_'God, I'm such a nerd.'_

My eyes wandered around the bus shelter as I attempted to distract myself by reading the wealth of graffiti covering its walls. I glimpsed some distinctive writing scrawled just where I was still bouncing my foot on the clear pane. I leaned forward, tilting my head to the side to get a better look.

**Declan pissed here!**

"Ewwww!" I yanked my foot back quickly as if it had been burned.  
><em><br>'Well, that's just flaming fantastic!'_I inspected my favourite boots, careful not to put my hands on the side that had been touching the shelter.

"Declan, you dirty little bastard." I muttered aloud, pulling my grey woollen coat around me a little tighter and scooting along the thin bench away from the offending wall.

My phone rang loudly in my pocket, saving me from any further thought on Declan and his complete disregard for personal hygiene. I smiled widely as I tugged it free and saw Sian's picture on the display.

"Hi..." I answered breathlessly. "Did your train get in ok?" I checked my watch. By my reckoning, Sian's train should have just arrived, leaving her plenty of time to get the next bus.

"Hi…Er yeah." Sian answered hesitantly. "The train got in fine. Early actually. The thing is Soph..." Sian sounded apologetic and my stomach dropped. "I've got some bad news and some good news."

"Okaaay." I replied apprehensively. "What's the bad news?"

I rolled my eyes at the instinctive question. That is so typically British isn't it? Why do we always ask for the bad news? Oh, give me the bad news please. Can't have myself getting too happy. I might spontaneously combust or something. No wonder Mum freaked out because I smiled for a few days. Our default setting is to be flaming miserable.

Sian cut into my internal ramblings. "There's some kind of problem with the buses. I don't know when it's gonna be sorted."

"Oh." I replied, trying not to sound too disappointed. "So…what's the good news?"

"You look really beautiful." Sian said softly and I could hear the smile in her voice.

"Wha…?" My head snapped up and I glanced around hurriedly.

Sian was leaning casually against the corner of The Rovers, a huge grin plastered across her face as she watched me.

"Sian." Her name slipped out like a plea, a release of a weeks' worth of longing. Sian breath hitched in my ear and I realised that we both still held our phones and she could hear me.

Sian's grin softened into a tender smile. "Hey you."

She bent to pick her bag from the floor, her eyes never leaving mine as she slipped the phone into the pocket of her black duffle jacket, and started towards me.

We stood grinning stupidly at each other for a few seconds after she reached me before Sian made the first move, lifting her hand to graze the backs of her fingers across my cheek. She trailed it around to the back of my neck and tugged me forward into a one armed hug, her other hand still clutching the bag down at her side.

"I missed you." I mumbled into her shoulder, my hands clutching to the front of her coat.

Sian's fingers tightened reflexively on my back and she turned her head to whisper softly in my ear. "I missed you too."

It sounds stupid, it had only been a few days since I last saw her, but I'd forgotten how good this felt, being in her arms. All those fears and worries about our future just melted away the second she put her hands on me, and I knew without doubt that this was exactly where I wanted to be. And who I wanted to be with.

As terrified as I was at the prospect of telling my family about us, and having the whole street find out, I wasn't willing to give her up, and I guess that's as good a place to start as any.

Speaking of the whole street finding out. We wouldn't have to tell anyone anything if we carried on hugging each other like this much longer. We had already gone way past acceptable 'Hey! Good to see you.' territory, and were heading firmly into, 'Hey Norris, juicy gossip...right here!' country. Do not pass go, do not collect £200.

That would be a hell of a way for my Mum to find out. Just the kind of news you want to hear when you've popped out for a paper and a Twix.

I reluctantly released her after a few more seconds, one hand still resting casually on the soft material of her sleeve as we stood at arm's length.

Sian's hair was tied back in a messy ponytail and a few unruly strands had escaped, falling invitingly across her face. I gave in to the longing to touch her again, moving my hand up from her arm and gently brushing them back with my fingertips. Sian smiled warmly, leaning into the delicate contact and the desire to kiss her threatened to overwhelm me.

I dropped my hand and took a step back, clearing my throat. "I thought there was a problem with the buses?" I asked, trying to distract myself from throwing caution to the wind and laying one on her in full view of the street.

Sian smiled knowingly as she watched my retreat, her eyes twinkling mischievously, as if she knew exactly what I had been thinking.

"Yeah, there was." She answered cryptically after a few seconds.

I raised one eyebrow questioningly, waiting for her to elaborate on how she had gotten here.

Sian looked quickly down at her feet, going from certain to unsure in the blink of an eye.

"I took a taxi." She looked up at me shyly from beneath her lashes. "I couldn't wait that long to see you."

God, she kills me.

I sighed and stepped closer to her again, suddenly not caring who saw us.

"I feel the same." I twined my fingers around her free hand, unable to keep the grin from my face.

Sian let out a breath, but still looked unsure. "Really?"

I laughed and nodded. "Er _hello_? Didn't you wonder why I was already at the bus stop _waaayy_ before you were due to get here?"

Sian shrugged, the wicked gleam back in her eyes. "You _really_ like buses?"

I narrowed my eyes at her suspiciously. "Who _really_ likes buses?"

"People." Sian shrugged again, a smirk playing at the corners of her mouth.

"People?"

"Yeah." Sian's smirk blossomed into a full blown grin. "People who wear anoraks."

I groaned and rolled my eyes. "Come on."

I linked my arm through hers and pulled her in the direction of my house.

"We can get you one if you like." Sian bumped my shoulder playfully as we walked up the path to the front door.

I hid a smile, thinking that she could get me a balaclava and a flask of Bovril to match if she wanted. As long as I was with her I didn't care.

I can't believe there was a time last week where I thought my life would be better without her in it. Just goes to prove what I've always known...I'm an idiot.

I nudged her back. "Shut up, ya freak."


	15. Chapter 15

**Go with it **

**Chapter 15**

"I've cleared some space for you if you want to hang anything up." I took Sian's bag from her and dropped it down next the wardrobe, shooting a quick glance her way when I realised how presumptuous that sounded. "I..I mean, if you want."

Sian gave me a slight smile from the doorway, her eyes sweeping rapidly over my small single bed and back to me.

I frowned as an unsettling thought occurred to me. "Unless you're planning to stay at your Dad's?" I asked cautiously.

'_Shit!'_ Why didn't I think of that before?

"Er...no. I wasn't planning to." Sian blinked quickly, looking surprised at the suggestion. "I can though. If you want...I can." She added swiftly, looking uncertain again.

'_Fuck.'_ She's only been here five minutes and I've already got her thinking I'm trying to pack her off to her Dad's.

"No!...No it's fine." I said sharply, fidgeting with my hands and wincing at how stupid I sounded. "I mean…it's fine, honestly. I want you here."

Sian smiled at that, shrugging off her coat and throwing it over the back of my desk chair. "I want me here too."

Sian turned and leaned back, perching herself on a corner of the wooden frame, her gaze once again shifting furtively over the bed before meeting mine shyly.

My eyes followed hers curiously, wondering what exactly it was about my bed that had her so fascinated; surely my Mum's taste in sheets wasn't that offensive, was it?

'_Well…fair point.' _I conceded. I'd never really liked them either. But Sian had seen them before loads of times. What was the problem now?

It hit me with the force of a tonne of bricks when I finally figured it out a few seconds later, and I did my best to hide the gasp that slipped from my lips at the realisation.

The bed.

Me...and Sian...would be sharing the bed.

'_Oh God!' _

Even the mere thought had me spinning. How the hell would I be able to hold it together when it really happened?

It's all well and good spending the whole week waiting desperately to see her again, thinking about how good it would be to hold her, kiss her…but now she's _actually_ here? I found myself, once again, totally unprepared for the effect she had on me.

She's here.

Every glorious inch of her.

And those glorious inches were going to be pressed against me later in my miniscule excuse for a bed. I mean, _Jesus!_ Why the hell had I never noticed how small it was before? Even Goldilocks would be like, 'Nuh uh..no way.'

'_Ugh! I think I'm gonna be sick.' _I swallowed anxiously.

I turned away from Sian, pulling open a drawer and pretending to rummage through it. "I could clear some room in here as well if you need it. I mean, I don't know what you've brought or anything...but I can totally..."

"Sophie." Sian broke in quietly, circling her arms around my waist from behind and resting her head on my shoulder, her breath coming in warm puffs next to my ear. "Soph...It's ok. I get it."

I stiffened and then sighed heavily, willing my body to relax into the embrace. Might as well tell the truth.

"I'm nervous." I said softly, covering Sian's hands with my own.

I felt, rather than heard Sian laugh behind me, her arms tightening around my hips as she chuckled. "Fifteen." She said eventually, the smile still in her voice.

I pulled a face. "Huh?" I turned my head to the side trying to get a glimpse of her, sure that I'd missed a few steps in this conversation.

Sian grinned at me. "That's how many times I packed and re-packed my bag this morning." She wriggled one finger free from our tangled hands and gestured to where the shoulder bag still sat by the wardrobe. "Fifteen."

Sian pulled her hands fully away from mine and settled them on my hips, pushing lightly to turn me around in her arms. "I feel it too."

"I don't why I'm having such trouble with this." I sighed, winding my hands around her neck and scratching delicately at the soft skin with the pads of my fingers. "I mean it's just you and me."

Sian eyebrows scrunched together as she seemed to contemplate that for a few seconds, "Well it's not _just_ you and me anymore, is it? It's you, me...and this.." She nodded down at how our bodies were pushed intimately up against each other. "...and...erm...that." She inclined her head towards my bed.

My gaze followed hers and I couldn't stop a furious blush from covering my face at the thought of us in that bed together. I cursed myself for not inheriting some of Rosie's boldness, and in the same breath thanked my lucky stars that I didn't have her fashion sense.

I was definitely still a little off balance about the abrupt change in our relationship, and I imagined Sian was too. But, that was what this weekend was about wasn't it? Talking through what we both wanted, finding a way to make it work.

"Sophie!" Mum's muffled shout came from the bottom of the stairs and I reluctantly pulled away from Sian and opened the door so that I could hear her better. "Me and your dad are just nipping over to the Rovers to meet Gail and her new boyfriend. We shouldn't be late."

"Okay Mum." I answered, rolling my eyes at Sian who waggled her eyebrows at me as she moved to sit down on the bed.

"There's some money in the kitchen if you and Sian want to order a pizza later, Ok?" Mum continued.

"Thanks Mum. Have a good night!"

"We will. Bye girls!" Mum's shout became fainter as she moved away from the stairs, the front door slamming behind her as she left the house.

I closed my bedroom door and crossed over to a smirking Sian. "You're not funny." I scowled down at her.

"Me?" Sian teased, hooking her finger through the belt loop on my jeans and pulling me forward to stand between her legs. "I'm hilarious." 

I placed my hands on her head and ruffled her hair wildly, wriggling out of her grasp as she tried to see through the tangled mess enough to stop me.

"You're right…" I laughingly agreed. "…that is hilarious." I dropped down onto the bed behind Sian, stretching out and propping myself up on one elbow.

Sian glared at me as she pulled out her ponytail and attempted to smooth her hair back into some kind of order. When she was satisfied she twisted round to face me, bringing one jean clad leg up onto the blanket and tucking it underneath her. "Time to talk?" She asked seriously, her blue eyes searching mine intently.

I sighed deeply, readying myself. "Yeah."

Sian nodded and carefully crawled up to lay down next to me, mirroring my position so that we were facing each other on the tiny bed.

She reached out and scratched lightly at my stomach with her free hand. "This ok?" Sian tilted her head down, indicating our positions and I nodded quickly in response.

"Where do we start?" Sian asked, her eyes following her fingers as they continued to graze my abdomen, causing the muscles there to tense pleasurably in reaction.

"Beginning?" I croaked faintly.

Sian poked one finger into my ribs, making me squirm. "Funny."

I frowned. I hadn't meant it to be funny. Honestly, a one word answer was all I was capable of at the moment. But, Sian didn't need to know that I had a mental shutdown whenever she got within two feet of me.

Sian chewed nervously on her lip for a few seconds and then blurted, "Oh, bollocks to it. Beginning it is then. Do you remember when we first started hanging around together?"

"Yeah." I nodded slowly, not entirely sure where she was going with this. "You were friends with that blonde girl from my form room. What was her name again?"

"Err...Tabitha?" Sian wrinkled her nose and quirked her lips sheepishly. "Tillie?" She threw up her hand in defeat. "I have no idea. It sounded like a cats name anyway."

"How can you not remember?" I asked, amused.

"Because I wasn't exactly friends with her." Sian sighed. "I only hung around with her so I could see you."

I stopped running my fingers over her arm and stared at her. "What?"

"Pathetic I know. But, I wanted to get to know you." Sian couldn't meet my eyes. "I didn't really understand it at the time. I just wanted to be around you." She rolled her eyes. "_All_ the time."

"But..." I leaned back, struggling to get my mind around what she was telling me. "But...Ryan?"

Sian winced and rolled onto her back, her eyes in the ceiling. "I liked him. I really did...but not like I should have." She glanced at me quickly and then went back to studying the roof. I kept silent, knowing there was more to come. I didn't have to wait long.

"I was confused...and scared. I mean Weatherfield's not exactly the most tolerant place in the world is it?" Sian chuckled sarcastically. "Not to mention my Dad. God, he was bad enough with Ryan. Can you imagine his face if I told him I'd fallen for a girl?"

Again I kept quiet, sensing the question was rhetorical, and not wanting to interrupt her while she was being so open with me. I simply shifted closer to her, resting my hand on her stomach as a show of support.

Sian's eyes flicked to me again and she smiled softly, giving my hand a squeeze.

"I know that I kind of used Ryan. But, I was just trying to get my mind off of you for a while." She dropped her eyes, grinning subtly. "Didn't work."

'_Thank God for that.'_ I grinned too, flopping onto my back so that we were side by side.

We laid in silence for a while. Both of us lost in our own thoughts.

"I wasn't ever going to do anything about it." Sian said softly after a few minutes. "You're my best friend. I'd never do anything to mess that up." She pulled a face. "Well...apart from ask you to pretend to be my girlfriend and then kiss you in your kitchen. You know...the usual."

I turned my head. Watching her.

"...and you're doing it again." Sian smiled, tilting her head fully to the side and regarding me curiously.

I stared at her a few more seconds before asking what she meant. "Doing what?"

"Looking at me like you've never seen me before." Sian smiled. "You did that a lot last weekend too."

"Well, I haven't." I laughed in disbelief. "I mean, I have. Course I have." I shook my head, trying to get my thoughts in order.

"I just mean, I haven't seen you like this before. And all that stuff you just said...I know you said you liked me for a while, but..." I searched for the right word. "...Wow."

"Wow...good? Or Wow, get the hell out of my house?" Sian lifted her gaze from the bedding to meet mine anxiously.

"Wow good." I said, tugging at her hand until Sian was curled up against my side. She laid her head on my shoulder and slung one arm across my waist. "It's not what I expected that's all. I mean it's just a lot to take in."

"Tell me about it." Sian smiled.

"Sophie?" She questioned quietly, her head still on my shoulder.

"Hmm?" I brushed absently at her hair, stroking it gently.

"Why did you run?" She lifted her head. "Last weekend. Why did you run away from me?"

"Oh." I blinked rapidly, not expecting the question. "I..er..." I sighed. The least I could do was be as honest with Sian as she had been with me.

"I finally realised how I felt about you." I pinched my nose between my fingers. "And it hurt too much to hear you say all those amazing things to Dan & Beth...and not have them be true."

"Sophie." Sian jerked up suddenly, looking very serious. Her beautiful blue eyes burned intensely into mine as she spoke. "Nothing I said last weekend was a lie. It wasn't part of an act. I meant every word." Sian shifted closer to me and reached up to cup my cheek. "You _are_ beautiful."

"So are you." I whispered. Half afraid that if I raised my voice any higher I would wake up from this amazing dream that had become my life.

Sian leaned forward and kissed me lightly. She let out a soft grunt of surprise as I deepened the kiss, using my hand on the back of her neck to reverse our positions so that we lay with my body half on top of Sian's, our legs entwined.

I pushed up the material of her checked top as I pulled back from the kiss, my hand skimming reverently over the skin I uncovered, making Sian shiver beneath me, her eyes darkening to a deeper blue.

I moved in closer, pressing my lips to the side of Sian's neck just underneath her ear. Her head fell back with a small moan, leaving the length of her neck exposed to my mouth as I moved into to kiss her, trailing my way down to the first button of her shirt. Sian's fingers tightened reflexively in my hair as I tentatively unfastened it, my fingers shaking slightly as I brushed the soft material to one side.

"Soph? Are you in…" Rosie barged through the door with all of her usual consideration for my privacy. "Oh. My. _Actual_. God!" 

'_I couldn't have said it better myself' _I grimaced, reaching quickly for a pillow to cover up with and then felt instantly stupid at the unconscious move. I was still fully dressed for fucks sake.

I glanced hesitantly over to Sian, who had pulled her knees up to her chest, her head buried in her hands, and tried to gauge her reaction. I was still uncertain as to how she would respond to other people finding out when our relationship was so new. Sweet words and whispered promises were all well and good behind closed doors, but now the door was open.

Open and filled with my still gawping sister.

Sian gave me a small reassuring grin from behind her hands, blushing with embarrassment as she whispered, "We _really_ need to start locking the door when we do this."


	16. Chapter 16

**Go with it**

**Chapter 15**

"So you two are..." Rosie frowned and rubbed distractedly at her forehead as she paced up and down in front of the dining room table. It had been half an hour since she had walked in on Sian and me in my bedroom and so far that was the only coherent sentence she had been able to utter.

Sian and I sat on one side of the table, thankfully now looking less like we had been dragged through a hedge, and watched her march back and forth, our heads swivelling from side to side like we were watching a tennis match.

Rosie stopped in her tracks and turned to face us, taking a deep breath as she tried once again to verbalize her thoughts.

"You two..." She waved her hand between me and Sian just in case we were in any doubt as to who the 'two' were.

"...are?"

"Together." Sian boldly interrupted Rosie's stilted questioning, her hand reaching across the gap between our chairs and covering mine gently as she lifted her chin defiantly.

'_God I love her!' _I clasped Sian's hand between both of mine as my body leaned instinctively towards her, a move that didn't go unnoticed by my sister.

"Wow." Rosie sat down heavily in one of the chairs across from us and shook her head in amusement. "I was going to say doing it...but whatev's"

Sian barked out a laugh and rolled her eyes at me as the tension in the room seemed to dissipate in an instant. Trust Rosie to view things in such simple terms.

I let out a long breath that I hadn't realised I had been holding and tried to roll the tightness of anxiety from my shoulders.

"Do Mum and Dad know?" Rosie leaned forward on her elbows expectantly.

"Did you hear Mum exploding from your flat?" I asked sarcastically. "Of course they don't know." I ran my free hand through my hair in frustration.

Sian squeezed my fingers reassuringly, her thumb soothing tenderly across my skin doing wonders to ease my jangled nerves. Funny really when such a short time ago in my room her touch had been anything but relaxing. It had made me restless. Left me wanting. I couldn't remember ever feeling anything like the aching need that being close to Sian gave me.

"Well, then you might wanna stop getting jiggy with your girlfriend in their house then, hadn't you?" Rosie stated, grinned widely as I blushed at the rude little action she made with her fingers.

'_Girlfriend' _Such an unassuming word really, when you break it down. Girl...friend. Rosie said it without a second thought. No sleepless nights spent agonizing over how the meaning had changed for me and Sian.

But, it had changed.

It meant so much more now. I glanced over at Sian, idly twirling a lock of hair around one of her fingers, her other hand still wrapped protectively in mine.

'_My Girlfriend.' _

Yeah. It meant everything.

"Seriously babes. It could have been Mum who walked in on you two." Rosie pointed out bluntly, and I reluctantly brought my attention back to the conversation.

"Yeah, I know!" I said a little harsher than I intended. Sian's hand clutched mine a little tighter and I got the message. It wasn't Rosie's fault that the thought of Mum finding us like that terrified me. She was just telling the truth. A truth I wasn't ready to face.

"I know, Rosie." I softened my tone, making Sian smile. "This is just still new, and we're still figuring everything out with each other."

"Okay, okay." Rosie held up her hands with a smile. "But, you should think about telling them. This stealth thing isn't really working for you is it?"

'_That's an understatement.' _I thought wryly. Practically the first time we messed around we got caught, it didn't exactly bode well for keeping the relationship a secret long term. Maybe Rosie was right, maybe it would be better to be honest.

"So..." I began a little uncertainly. "Are you really ok with this, Rosie?"

"With what?" Rosie's brow furrowed in confusion.

"With the recession." Sian answered with a completely straight face. At Rosie's blank look she rolled her eyes at me in amazement and held up our joined hands. "With us."

"Oh.." Rosie shrugged indifferently. "Well...we've all gone a bit Katy Perry in our time haven't we?"

"Rosie." I sighed, trying to think of a way to explain that she would understand. "We weren't just messing around cos we can't find boyfriends, you know?"

"Oh please." Rosie scoffed, throwing one hand on her hip and looking a little offended. "Give me some credit will you. I'm just saying that loads of people try it these days. So you two figured out that it's part of who you are...big deal." She shrugged and gestured between me and Sian. "And...You found someone that makes you happy. As far as I can see that makes you lucky."

Rosie's eyes turned serious. "You're my sister Sophie."

Sian and I sat in stunned silence for a few seconds, neither of us quite sure what to say in the face of such unflinching loyalty.

From Rosie of all people.

Just when you think you know someone, just when you think you've got them figured out and labelled away in your head, they up and amaze you. In the best possible way.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go home and wash my eyes out." Rosie stood up from her chair and pulled her coat on as if what she'd just said wasn't a big deal. "There are some things a sister should never have to witness."

"Yeah, I know." I cleared my suddenly choked throat and shuddered dramatically, more than a little happy to be back to our normal teasing. "It's never stopped you though has it? I mean...what _are_ you wearing?"

Rosie pulled open the lapels of her coat with both hands and inspected her scantily clad body. "What, this? It's for a promotions job."

"Promoting prostitution these days are they?" Sian asked with a smirk, her shining blue eyes making it clear she was joking.

Rosie laughed and jiggled her assets. "Flash a little boob and people will buy anything. But you know all about that...don't you darling?" Rosie gave Sian a saucy wink and blew her a kiss, making Sian flush with embarrassment.

Rosie gathered up her purse and headed for the door, pausing just long enough to reach over the table and ruffle my hair affectionately. "Ciao girls." She called over her shoulder, leaving the room in a waft of perfume.

"Your sister is mental." Sian grinned and shook her head, turning sideways in her seat to face me, one arm resting casually on the back of the chair.

"She is." I smiled back, twisting so that my legs framed hers in the space between our chairs.

I placed my both hands on Sian's knees, smiling softly when hers immediately covered mine. "She's right too. It could have been Mum walking in on us." I said, watching her thumbs rub warmly across my knuckles.

"Sophie." Sian ducked her head in an effort to catch my eye. "It's ok if you're not ready to tell them yet. You don't have to rush this."

"I know. But, I'm going to have to tell them sooner or later aren't I?" I sighed. "Either I tell them, or they find out like Rosie did...which I can't even imagine."

Sian shuddered. "Me neither."

I let go of Sian's hands and rubbed tiredly at my eyes. "Or Norris tells them cos he caught us snogging behind The Kabin." I paused and considered those options. "I'm not sure which one Mum would hate more."

"Excuse me!" Sian exclaimed, bringing her hand up to her chest pretending to be scandalised. "I'm a lady. I don't go snogging behind The Kabin!"

"It's behind The Rovers or nothing." She declared confidently, her eyes twinkling mischievously.

"Ooh…an upmarket girl ey?" I asked with a grin. I just loved how much of a dork she could be sometimes, and how much of a dork _I_ could be when I was with her. It had always been that way between us. But, it seemed even stronger now that we were together, as if the additional intimacy complemented our existing friendship perfectly.

"That's me." Sian winked and pulled me in for a quick kiss. When our lips parted I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and hugged her tightly, revelling in the peaceful sensation that washed over me, and came to a decision.

"I think I'm going to tell them." I said quietly, as I leaned back from the embrace and watched Sian carefully for her reaction. I was barely able to believe the words myself.

"Ok." Sian shrugged.

"Ok?" I asked sceptically, dropping my arms from around her back. "That's it? Just...Ok?"

"Yep." She nodded. "That's it."

Sian scooted her chair closer to mine and grasped both of my hands in hers once more. "I want to be with you." She said openly.

"And you want to be with me..." Sian raised one eyebrow and grinned smugly. "...because let's face it, who wouldn't?"

"Well, exactly." I agreed with a smile.

"Exactly, so that's it." Sian said decisively, her smile growing. "And it would be nice not having to sneak about all the time, wouldn't it?"

"What if they go mad?" I asked weakly, suddenly terrified again.

Sian tugged me forward into another hug, her fingers tangling comfortingly in my hair. "Then we'll deal with it." She murmured confidently in my ear. "Together."

"But, what about _your_ Dad?" I asked uncertainly, pulling back far enough to see her face. I didn't want Sian to have any regrets if we went through with this.

"My Dad..." Sian laughed disdainfully. "...will blow his top whenever and however he finds out. I'm not a kid anymore Soph." Sian lowered her voice, her eyes flashing defiantly. "I won't be bullied by him."

Sian.

My beautiful, brave Sian.

The faint echo of my parent's voices sounded in the street outside signalling their imminent return and we gradually extricated ourselves from the embrace. I let my fingers linger briefly across Sian's lips, trying to silently express all that I was feeling to her as we parted. I smiled softly as she clasped my wrist and held my hand in place, kissing each finger gently in response.

Sian pushed her chair fully away from mine when the garbled jumble of voices got increasingly louder as they approached the front door, making it possible to make out some of their conversation.

"No, I'm just saying…every time it was his round he conveniently disappeared to the toilet that's all." Dad's low voice rumbled in the front hall.

"Maybe he has bladder trouble." Mum countered diplomatically

"Maybe he's a tight arse!" Dad grouched as they moved into the living room and he shut the door behind them. "Alright girls?" He greeted Sian and me with a nod of his head, rubbing his hands together to warm them up.

"Kevin!" Mum scolded as she took off her coat and hung it over the banister at the bottom of the stairs. "Gail likes him. And yes, she may not have had the best of luck with men..."

"Best of luck?" Dad interrupted cheekily. "Er, Killer, fraudster..." He counted off Gail's past dating disasters on his fingers.

"Tight arse." Sian helpfully supplied, earning her a grin from Dad, and a disapproving frown from Mum. Sian tugged firmly on my sleeve and pulled me in front of her as a human shield.

"Sorry Sally." She mumbled contritely from behind my shoulder.

"Oh." Mum sighed and faced Dad again "You just don't want to like him." She turned on her heel and headed for the kitchen to put the kettle on.

"I do want to like him." Dad disagreed, following her to the counter. He cheekily swiped the packet of biscuits Mum had taken out of the cupboard from her hands and held them just out of her reach as she tried to grab them back. "I just want a pint an'all."

He plucked a few biscuits from the pack before handing it back to Mum, who snatched at them with a scowl.

"Well tough. Because I told Gail we would go out for a meal with them next week." Mum's grimace transformed into a smug grin at the crestfallen look on Dad's face.

"Sally." Dad whined. "He'll probably develop that bladder problem again when the bill turns up." Dad curled his lip and lifted his fingers to use sarcastic air quotes.

"Kevin." Mum's voice dropped warningly. Dad grudgingly nodded his head and munched noisily on his stolen biscuits. It would have been useless to fight, we all knew the conversation was over.

"That was impressive." Sian whispered into my ear from directly behind me, still using me as a buffer between her and my Mum.

"Yeah." I agreed under my breath. "So just keep your wits about you ok? Or she'll have you straight and out dating a lad before the conversation is even over."

"Not gonna happen." Sian rubbed my back reassuringly. "I'm here for you Soph." She stopped and then amended her statement. "I might be hiding behind you...but I'm staying right here. Alright?"

"Alright." I tilted my head, wanting to get a glimpse of her to strengthen my resolve. "Are you ready?"

"Yep." Sian nodded boldly.

"Okay then." I muttered, trying to mentally prepare myself for all the ways this could go to fuck.

"Mum, Dad...Can we talk to you for a minute?"


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17.

Dad sat on the far side of the two seater settee as we waited for Mum to join us in the living room. He smiled easily at us, tilting his head towards the kitchen, where Mum was still fussing over the drinks, and rolled his eyes. He looked the picture of a man perfectly at home, with his legs casually outstretched, his head reclining back onto the grey upholstery of the sofa. I smiled weakly in return before pulling my eyes away. For some reason his easy, relaxed demeanour only served to increase my nervousness all the more. Perhaps, because I knew that in a few minutes that carefree, happy man would probably be gone.

Sian was perched on the side of the armchair I was sitting on, her arm propped against the seat back behind my head. I glanced up at her and our eyes met briefly. Sian gave me a small intimate smile, her fingers ghosting lightly across my shoulder before she set her face back into a neutral expression. The private look had been meant to reassure, to let me know that she was right there with me, but despite her cool appearance I could feel the apprehension radiating from Sian in waves. Her upper body had become rigid, the fingers of the hand resting on her leg were twisted tightly around the fabric of her loose jeans, the knuckles turned white from the pressure.

Mum finally made her way into the living room, her hands full with a tray loaded up with everything you would need to make tea for the whole street. Dad's eyes lit up immediately at the sight of some biscuits sat precariously on the top of the pile.

"Now then. Who wants what?" Mum perched on the edge of the sofa with a sigh and glanced around expectantly. "Sian love?

"Mum." I jumped in, not wanting to wait for another half an hour while she fiddled around with the drinks order. "Could we talk first, please?" At Mum's crestfallen expression I quickly added, "...and then enjoy the tea?"

Mum smiled widely and I knew I'd said the right thing. "Of course Sophie love." She agreed as she settled back onto the settee. The smile dimmed a little as a thought seemed to occur to her. "You're not in any kind of trouble, are you?"

"No!...No, not trouble." I replied hastily, hoping fervently that we didn't have radically different ideas about what it meant to be in trouble. I was pretty sure that in Mum's vocabulary 'in trouble', meant getting pregnant with some local chav's kid and quitting uni. I prayed that she didn't consider what I was going to tell her to be worse.

"The thing is..." I began slowly. "The reason I wanted to talk to you is..."

"The thing is..." I stalled again trying to find the right words.

"Oh, come on Sophie." Mum laughed, leaning forward. "Spit it out love."

"I...I..." My gaze flicked between the three expectant faces, the anxiety ramping itself up to new level. Part of me wanted to mop what I was sure would be my sweaty brow. _'Jesus!'_ No wonder people confessed to things they didn't do, the pressure of people watching you, waiting for you to speak, is almost unbearable.

Trouble is, I'm not sure I'm ready to say it yet.

I thought I was. Half an hour ago I thought I was sure this was what I wanted. But, half an hour ago I was still on a high from having Rosie so accepting. Now, I wasn't so sure that my luck would hold enough to get that reaction from my parents as well.

I cleared my suddenly dry throat. "I just wanted..."

Sian leaned forward and placed her hand on my shoulder as she jumped into the conversation, "We just wanted to ask if it would be alright if Sophie came down to London to visit me again next weekend?"

Shocked, I turned abruptly in the chair to look up at Sian, ready to question her. A sad smile and a barely visible shake of her head kept my mouth shut.

"Sophie?" Mum questioned, her keen eyes not missing the silent interaction going on between us. "Was that all you wanted to say?"

_'Was it?'_ I turned to face my Mum and Dad who were both looking at me expectantly and then back up at Sian, who simply stared down at her own hands making it impossible for me to read her expression.

I swung back around to my parents and opened my mouth to answer. For probably the first time in my life, I had no idea what was going to come out.

"Yes." I breathed.

I ran my hand shakily through my hair and then wrapped both arms around my stomach. "That's all." I finished after a few seconds, hoping my voice sounded a little stronger.

I heard Sian release a long, slow breath behind me but I didn't dare turn around and face her, too afraid to see the disappointment I was sure would be in her eyes.

"Well, I don't know girls." Mum said, considering the idea. "I'm still not sure I like the idea of you down there. Look how ill you were when you came home last time, Sophie."

_'Yeah well, realising you're in love with your best friend will do that to you.' _I scoffed wordlessly.

"There's so many untrustworthy people about these days." Mum continued, wringing her hands together worriedly. I thought for a brief moment that she was going to make Sian watch 'Oliver' like I had to, or at the very least burst into _'You've got to pick a pocket or two'_ from the settee.

Outwardly I said nothing and thankfully, I didn't need to, as Dad chose that moment to join the discussion.

"Oh come on, Sally. We've all had a bad hangover in our time." He stated diplomatically, one eye still on the biscuits. He turned his full attention back on my mother and delivered the killer blow. "They're not kids anymore and we brought our Sophie up to be a responsible girl, didn't we?"

Dad knew that Mum wouldn't be able to object now. She might win in an out and out fight, but Dad still had some tricks up his sleeve. Part of me wanted to applaud his tactics but again, I kept quiet.

I didn't feel particularly responsible. I couldn't even take responsibility for my own feelings for fucks sake.

"I suppose you're right." Mum said slowly, obviously still a little dubious. She looked as if she knew she had been played, but couldn't quite figure out how it had happened.

"That's settled then." Dad jumped in quickly. "Hows about that tea then, love?" He rubbed his hands together in anticipation.

Mum regained her composure quickly at that. "Oh yes." She said, scooting forward to the coffee table.

"None for me thanks, Sally." Sian said quietly, speaking for the first time since she had given me the chance to back out of telling my parents. "I'm just gonna go to bed if that's alright?" She stood up from the chair arm and moved towards the bottom of the stairs.

"Sian..." I started to get up too, wanting to follow her.

Sian put out a hand, anticipating the move. "You stay and have some tea, Soph. I'm just a bit tired that's all. Busy week. "She smiled over at my Mum and Dad, who nodded in response, but I could see that it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Night Sian." Mum and Dad echoed each other as Sian gave them a halfhearted wave before heading up.

I watched her go, every nerve in my body willing me to go after her.

But I didn't.

Instead I pasted on a smile and nodded when Mum held up the teapot inquiringly.

_'Fuck!'_ I scrubbed my hands over my face. This wasn't how I wanted the night to go. I didn't want Sian to believe I was having doubts. And I most certainly didn't want Sian to start having doubts about me.

I thought back over our friendship, back to when Sian had lived with her Dad and how scared of his reactions she had been. A couple of years ago this might have been the other way round. Sian might have been the one hiding away.

But, she wasn't. I was.

What she had said earlier in the night about her father just went to show how far she had come, how much she had grown into herself and found her own strength. I had to admit that right now, I was more than a little bit jealous of that.

...

I drummed my fingers restlessly on my thigh as Mum took her time arranging the tray of drinks on the table.

_'Seriously, who does that?'_ I thought. Even the queen doesn't piss about this much with tea.

The minutes stretched on interminably until Mum finally settled down next to Dad, apparently now completely satisfied with the order of the teacups, and the rigid positioning of the sugar bowl. He patted her knee affectionately as she leaned back against the cushions. Mum gave him a bright smile in return and I couldn't help but echo it a little. I suppose you really have to love someone to find their obsessive quirks that adorable. I thought about the girl upstairs, how I adored everything she did and it all made a tiny bit more sense.

Me loving her was just like Dad loving Mum.

Dad could sit and watch Mum faffing around with teacups for ten minutes with an fond smile on his face. I knew that I could sit and watch Sian counting all the hairpins in Audrey's salon and be totally happy. It was exactly the same. All I needed now was to get Mum and Dad to understand that.

_'Easier said than done.'_ Said a disquieting voice in my head. I shook it off. Nothing good is ever easy.

I sat up straighter in the chair, coming to a decision. "So...I'm just gonna go to bed too then."

"Oh." Mum looked up, disappointed. "What about your tea?" Mum nodded towards my still full cup.

"I'm gonna leave it, Mum." I shook my head slowly and tried to think of a plausible excuse. "Don't want to be up all night, do I?"

Mum relaxed back into the cushions again seemingly appeased, as Dad nodded his head wisely in understanding.

I made my way upstairs, shaking my head in wonder at my parents_. 'Must be true what they say about middle aged people and their bladders then.'_ I concluded silently, reaching the landing. I stood for a minute or two, out of view of my parents but not close enough to my room to alert Sian to my presence. I just needed a few minutes to get myself together before I faced her.

"Sian?" I asked as I carefully opened the door to my room, not entirely sure what reception to expect. The room was dark except for the faint glow from my bedside lamp and Sian stood silhouetted by the window, her back towards me as I fully entered the room.

"Sian?" I whispered, the stillness and half light of the room seemingly demanding the softer tone. I wasn't sure she had heard me until she glanced over her shoulder, her eyes meeting mine cautiously.

"I'm sorry." I said, hoping that Sian could hear how much I meant it. She turned to face me and that was all I needed to carry on. "I was going to tell them. I was. I just couldn't think of the words...once I'd started...I just didn't have the words." I looked deeply into Sian's eyes, silently begging her to understand.

"Sophie. You're not ready." Sian cupped my face and smiled bravely. "And that's ok. No one said you had to tell everyone in one night, you know?"

I knew every one of Sian's smiles, knew the one she gave when she was just being polite, knew the wide grin that meant something had really tickled her, mostly directed at Rosie's latest antics. I knew the shy, private smile that made you feel like you were the only person in the world, the one that made you feel like you could fly.

I knew this one too. Knew it well enough to see right through, to the sadness behind it.

"But..." I struggled to find the right words. Words to tell her how perfect she was, how much I cared. But, anything I told her now would be under the shadow of what happened downstairs. No matter how much I knew it wasn't true, no matter how much Sian would deny it, I could see in Sian's eyes that some part of her believed that I was ashamed of her. Ashamed of what we had. And nothing that I said tonight would be able to take that belief away.

Words meant nothing when your actions said the opposite.

Sian dropped her hands and stepped backwards. "Soph, lets just get some sleep, ok?" She sighed. "I really am tired."

"Ok." I could only agree. What right did I have to make her stay awake and talk this through.

We lay in my small bed, as far apart as it was possible for two people to be and I almost laughed at the contrast between how I expected this night to go, and the reality. I was in bed with the girl I loved, but I didn't have the butterflies that I normally did whenever I was close to her. Instead my stomach was swarming with anxiety and guilt, and lying in the dark listening to Sian's steady breathing, sleep was hard to come by.

...

Breakfast so far had been a quiet affair, both Sian and I were still a little tentative around each other after the night before, a few uncertain glances the most we had been able to summon up. Mum and Dad for their part, simply seemed content to eat in the relative silence.

When I had woken up earlier, the other half of the bed had been empty and cold, Sian long gone. After a few brief moments of panic I had spotted her bag still sitting in front of the wardrobe where she had left it, her coat still slung casually over the back of my chair and I collapsed back onto the bed in relief. I'd dressed quickly and hurried downstairs, finding Sian already at the table with my parents, quietly discussing her course and uni life with my Mum over toast. She had looked up as I'd walked into the kitchen. Well, more like skidded to a halt in front of the table, earning me a scowl from my mother. I quickly looked down, making sure I hadn't put my shirt on inside out or anything in my haste to find Sian.

When I looked back up Sian rolled her eyes with a grin, shaking her head and making it clear that she knew exactly what I had been up to. I blushed self consciously as I dropped into the chair opposite her, mumbling something about tea that had Mum scurrying off into the kitchen to put on a fresh pot.

After that we had retreated back into silence as we ate. The quiet eventually broken as Rosie bustled into the kitchen with all of her usual flair. She kissed Dad and Mum on the cheek as she passed, gave Sian a saucy wink that had the blonde dropping her head quickly to hide her blush and pushed my hair from the back, up and over my face so that I resembled 'Cousin It' from the Addams family. Rosie moved to the kitchen after her lap of the dining table and started pulling food out of the cupboards, flailing her arms flamboyantly as she launched straight into a tale about her promotions job the night before. Her latest 'absolute end of the world' story faded quietly into the back of my consciousness as I leaned back in my chair and surveyed my family.

These were the people that my life revolved around. These were the people that saw me at my best and my worst, and trust me, first thing in a morning that was most definitely my worst. They were the people who hugged me goodbye and the people I came home to. How long could I keep them in the dark about something that was a part of who I am?

I could no more deny the way I felt about Sian than I could deny the colour of my eyes, sometimes I felt it must be written on my face every time I looked at her. And I wanted it to be that way. I didn't want to hide this amazing thing that had happened to me. I didn't want to deny her.

What was it I had thought the night before? Words meant nothing when your actions said the opposite. Well, it was time to put it right. Time that my words and my actions were the same.

Time to be me.

"Mum? Dad?" I put down my knife, waiting until I had their attention.

I could feel Sian staring at me questioningly from across the table, no doubt wondering where I was going with this, but I purposefully ignored her gaze. This was something that I had to do by myself.

Rosie stopped chopping the mango she had been butchering and met my gaze over the back of Mum's head, her eyes widening in realisation as she saw the determination shining from mine. She nodded her head, giving me a small smile that was all the reassurance I needed.

"What's up, Sophie?" Dad asked, his eyes clouded with concern.

I took one more deep breath, surprised at how calm I felt, especially in comparison to the night before.

Funny how everything is less scary when the darkness fades away.

"Mum, Dad." I said with a relieved smile. "I'm gay."


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Mum bustled around the kitchen, wiping counters that were already clean and straightening objects that were already in the right place. She tried once again to get around Rosie, who quickly held her arms protectively around the wooden chopping board in front of her.

"I'm still not done, Mum." Rosie peered suspiciously at Mum over her shoulder, her body tilted to one side, ready to defend her mango from any attack.

This had been the scene for the last five minutes. After I had blurted out to my parents that I was gay, Mum had sat opened mouthed for a few seconds, then shot up out of her seat without a word and began frantically tidying the kitchen. Dad simply looked shell shocked, his gaze following Mum around the room just like the rest of us.

Mum had already tried twice, unsuccessfully, to clear away the breakfast that Rosie had been preparing for herself, and Rosie still looked on edge every time Mum passed too close to her.

"Mum?" I sighed deeply, running my hand through my hair.

"Oh, why is everything all over the place this morning?" Mum brushed off the question, choosing instead to bury her head in the cupboard, tutting at its apparent state.

I met Sian's sympathetic gaze briefly before turning to my Dad, silently pleading for him to help me.

Dad put down the knife he had been using to butter his toast and covered my hand with his. I turned my hand over and lightly squeezed his, hugely grateful for the small sign of affection. He nodded and tried gently to get Mum's attention. "Sally love."

Mum, once again, carried on as if she hadn't heard. "I'll have to give this place a good clean through." She murmured to herself.

"Oh for Gods sake!" Rosie threw one hand onto her hip, momentarily abandoning her fruit salad protection scheme. "So Sophie's a lesbian. So what? It's not like you've never seen one before, Mum. Those two old biddies on Rosamund Street have been at it since the war!" Rosie swung one arm in that general direction. "And you're quite happy to natter away with them and Rita in the Kabin."

Rosie began throwing the pieces of fruit that she had cut up into a bowl with a little more force than was necessary. "I mean...so what if Sophie likes girls?..." She stalked over and dropped into a chair, rattling the bowl on the surface of the table as she did so. "...so what if she's going out with Sian? What's the big deal?"

Rosie picked over the fruit, searching for the perfect morsel, completely oblivious to the collective gasp her last statement had produced. When she finally found what she was looking for, she popped the chunk into her mouth and looked up, her eyes bouncing around the table at our open mouths.

"Wha...?" Rosie asked, her eyebrows bunched in confusion. The question came out muffled as she spoke around the chunk of apple between her teeth. "Want some?" She held up the bowl, offering it to each of us in turn. "Oh well, more for me." She shrugged at our lack of response, and carried on picking over the dish.

_'My sister, ladies and gentlemen.'_ I dropped my head into my hands.

I was completely torn. For the second time in as many days, Rosie had shown just what an amazing sister she could be. She'd thrown herself wholeheartedly into my defence. Put herself between me and Mum, letting Mum know in no uncertain terms that she supported me, that she didn't care about my sexual orientation.

And then...

Half of me wanted to walk around the table, and hug her till the leopard print spots fell off her t-shirt. However, the other half of me wanted to beat her around the head with a wet fish. How could she be so stupid?

I peeked through my fingers at Sian, who was still staring wide eyed at Rosie, and then at my mother, who stood motionless beside the counter, one can of beans clutched to her chest, and her mouth still hanging open.

Dad recovered first, his hand tightening softly around mine to get my attention. "Sian's your girlfriend?" He asked, a blush covering his cheeks at the word 'girlfriend'. At my bewildered nod he continued, "How long have you two...?" He coughed a little, unsure how to finish the question.

"N..Not long." I stuttered, trying to kick start my brain.

"A week." Sian offered faintly, having seemingly rediscovered her faculties faster than me. "Officially." She belatedly added, giving me a small smile. I returned it, remembering all the time we had wasted being too afraid to be honest with each other.

I turned my attention back to my Dad, who was watching the exchange with interest.

I met his gaze, colouring slightly under the scrutiny, but determined not to look away. "It's still new." I clarified. "We're still figuring things out. That's part of the reason Sian came up this weekend.

"...but it's real." I added hastily, as Sian nodded determinedly across the table. I didn't want them to be in any doubt about that.

Mum finally seemed to snap out of the daze she had been in. She pushed the tin of beans back into the cupboard and moved closer. "Last night when you wanted to speak to us, this is what you wanted to tell us wasn't it?" Mum didn't wait for a reply as a thought suddenly seemed to occur to her. "Last night you two shared a...Oh God!" Mum's hand flew to her mouth.

_'Whoa!'_ Wait a minute. Hadn't we just finished telling Mum how me and Sian had only really been together for a week. That we were still at the figuring things out stage. Yeah I'm pretty sure that's what we had just finished saying. Now I may be mistaken here, but it sounded an awful lot like my Mum thought I was a little bit of a slut.

I couldn't help throwing Rosie a glare for warping Mum's mind as to how all teenagers behave. Surely Mum knew by now that Rosie was one of a kind. It wasn't even fair. They had kind of given up getting upset by what Rosie got up to these days. But me? I spend one perfectly innocent night in bed with my girlfriend, who I loved, and Mum looked at me like I'd desecrated the holiness of her Marks & Spencer's sheets.

"Mum, we didn't do anything last night." I said as calmly as I could in an effort to placate her. I didn't think pointing out the parental hypocrisy at this stage would help my cause.

"No, you got that out the way earlier in the evening, didn't you?" Rosie piped up from across the table, biting the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing.

"Rosie!" Sian exclaimed, narrowing her eyes at Rosie, who simply shrugged and smirked in return.

I turned to Rosie and held up both of my hands. "Just...could you _please _stop helping me?"

Rosie's smug grin quickly turned to a squeal, as Sian made her feelings known with a swift kick underneath the table.

Mum nodded absently, her hand dropping from her lips as she moved towards the table and fell heavily into a chair, "But, you've had boyfriends. Both of you!" Mum gestured between Sian and me, her hand continuing to swing back and forth long after she had finished speaking.

"Oh please!" Rosie scoffed. "I've worn tweed before...doesn't mean I'm gonna go out and fill my wardrobe with it, does it?"

"Rosie." I warned lowly, flicking a quick glance to my Mum, who had suddenly developed a disturbing twitch in one cheek.

"What?" Rosie waved me off and addressed Dad again. "It's a metaphor, Dad." Rosie explained with an air of superiority at the thought of teaching us all something. "You see...tweed is the boyfriends, and filling my wardrobe is..."

"Rosie!" I barked through gritted teeth, dreading the end of that sentence. "We get it. Ok?"

Sian shook her head at Rosie in disbelief, before trying valiantly to steer the conversation back on course. She faced my Dad, calmly answering to Mum's earlier statement as if Rosie had never spoken. "I don't think we were ready to admit it. Not even to ourselves."

Dad nodded and I couldn't help but feel proud of how well Sian was handling the situation. I chose to take the fact that she hadn't run screaming from the room as a sign that she kinda liked me.

Mum peered at me intently, recovering some of her wits. "Last week when I asked you if you were seeing someone..." She left the statement hanging for me to fill in the blanks.

"You said boy...There was no boy." I pointed out, knowing deep down that it was a weak argument.

Mum's eyes narrowed as she inclined her head towards Sian, who lowered her head at the glare and hid behind the curtain of her hair. "But, there was a girl?"

_'Fuck._'

I swallowed. "Yes."

Sian looked up at the quiet word, a half grin once again covering her lips, her eyes shining happily. And once again I couldn't help but return it.

Mum pursed her lips and went to stand up once more.

"You said it was nice." I blurted out, not wanting her to start frenziedly cleaning the room again.

Mum froze halfway up from her seat. "What?"

"You said it was nice..." I paused, hoping Mum would meet my eyes. When she did, I searched her face for a hint of mellowing, a sign that she might come to be ok with this eventually.

"...seeing me so happy." I finished honestly, my gaze never once leaving hers.

"I..I.." Mum faltered, the hard lines around her eyes softening slightly. "Oh Sophie."

She pushed up from the table and walked over to the patio doors that led to the conservatory. She wrapped her arms tightly around her body. Dad got up and followed, rubbing her shoulders comfortingly from behind as they began to shake from crying.

"Why don't you girls go out for a bit?" Dad said, gesturing to the door with his head. He carried on quickly when it looked as though I might protest. "While me and your Mum have a talk."

"Ok." I agreed quietly, hoping the space would clear the air a little. Dad smiled reassuringly at me and I felt a huge weight lift from my chest. At least it seemed as if one of them was taking the news well. As well as I could expect him to after springing it on him over breakfast. The poor man didn't even get to finish his toast.

"I'll pop in again later Mum, Ok?" Rosie gathered her bag and coat, laying her hand on Mum's arm as she walked past her.

_'Oh good._' I scoffed silently as I pulled on my boots. I bet Mum and Dad will really look forward to another lesson on lesbian metaphors from Professor Rosie.

Sian rubbed my arm comfortingly as we headed towards the door, leaving my parents to themselves.

"Well...that could have been worse." Rosie remarked, buttoning up her fur coat as we stepped out into the street.

Sian's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Is she having a laugh?" She asked me, jerking her thumb at Rosie.

"They didn't throw you out, did they?" Rosie asked, as if that explained everything.

"Yet." I muttered.

"Don't be silly." Rosie dismissed the idea swiftly. "She'll come round, Soph. I'll work on her."

Sian's eyes widened comically at that, and I grinned, knowing exactly what she was thinking. If Rosie was going to be the one championing our cause...we were in trouble.

"And if she doesn't, you can come and stay with me." Rosie offered thoughtfully, and I instantly felt bad for mocking her. Rosie may go about things with a complete lack of tact sometimes, but I was lucky to have her on my side.

"Thank you, Rosie." I said sincerely. I hoped to God that I would never have to take her up on the offer, but I was relieved to have it all the same.

"No problem, little sis." Rosie replied as we reached the corner. "Call me later?"

"Yeah." I confirmed with a nod.

Rosie blew us both a kiss and sauntered off in the opposite direction, her handbag swinging jauntily from her wrist.

Sian laughed as we watched Rosie walk out of view. "I've said it before and I'll say it again...mental."

"Definitely." I agreed with a grin.

So..." Sian linked her arm through mine as we set off walking again. "...you told them then."

"Yeah." I nodded.

"At breakfast."

"Yeah."

"At breakfast...without warning me." Sian pointed out.

"Er...yeah."

"At breakfast...with me sat next to your Mum and her surrounded by loads of sharp objects."

"Again...yeah." I winced. "Look Sian, I honestly didn't plan it. It just came out."

"You just came out, you mean." Sian smirked, nudging her shoulder against mine as we turned the corner.

I nudged her back, rolling my eyes at the joke. "Funny."

Sian smiled back happily.

"I just..." I tried to explain as we carried on walking. "Ugh! I dunno...I felt like I had to." I kicked at a stone on the pavement with one boot, frustrated by my inability to express myself more clearly.

Sian tugged sharply on my arm, bringing us to a sudden halt, her smile disappearing. "Because of me?" She frowned.

When I didn't answer straight away Sian dropped her hand from my arm and backed up a few steps, her hands automatically moving to the pockets of her dark duffle coat.

"Sophie." Sian looked rattled. "That's not what I wanted."

I recognised the move for what it was, an unconscious act of protection. I closed the distance between us and rested my hands on Sian's waist, using the leverage to draw her along the side of the shop, away from the street.

"Hey...It wasn't really because of you. Not the way you think anyway." I bunched my hands into the soft material of Sian's coat. Sian looked up, her striking blue eyes searching mine. I tried once again to explain how I had been feeling, knowing from the distressed look on Sian's face that it was important. "I hated lying there last night feeling so far away from you. Hated that it had come between us...that I'd let it."

Sian's fingers toyed with the loose ties of my jacket belt. "Soph...I never wanted you to feel like that. I told you that we would wait until you were ready, and I meant it. I would never pressure you like that."

"I know." I smiled at her. I knew that Sian before anything, Sian was my best friend. She would never do anything to hurt me.

"It was more about me." I told her. "They're my family, Sian. I wanted them to know...for _me_."

Sian nodded, understanding. She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into a hug. "It'll be ok, you know?" She said softly, her breath ruffling my hair as she spoke.

"I know." I answered with more conviction than I felt. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, allowing myself to relax into the embrace.

It was done now anyway.

All there was left to do...was to wait.


	19. Chapter 19

**I can't apologise enough for how long it's been since I've updated this fic. I had an accident at the beginning of the year that put me out of action for a few months. This small chapter was mostly written before then and has sat on my laptop, unfinished and unedited ever since. Even though I've written other things since then, every time I tried to open this file it felt strange. I can't explain it, other than to say it just felt weird to be going back to something I wrote on the day I pelted myself at a tree at high speed. :)**

**Thankfully, on the good advice of a friend..."Bloody get on with it!"... I have decided that its time to finish what I started. So, here we go again...and as always, there will be some swearing. :)**

**Chapter 19**

Me and Sian spent most of the day wandering around Weatherfield; trailing from the Red Rec all around the streets and back again several times. Neither of us saying the words, but neither of us eager to go back to my house and face the music with my Mum. When we eventually did head back in the late afternoon, the house was quiet. Only Dad sat downstairs, a long cold cup of tea still clutched in his hands as he stared unseeing at the muted tv. He told us that Gail had called and invited Mum out for a quick drink, which, given the circumstances, he'd thought was a good idea.

After another half an hour of awkward, stilted conversation, I'd called Rosie, and after my quick explanation of the situation at home she had readily invited us to spend the night with her. It hadn't been hard to see the brief look of relief on Dads face as I'd told him the news. He was probably worried about what would happen once me and Mum were in the same room again. To be honest...so was I.

We quickly packed some overnight things in a bag, leaving before Mum returned from the Rover's and for the brief stroll to Rosie's flat I'd listened halfheartedly as Sian tried valiantly to distract me with stories from uni. I smiled and nodded in all the right places, but we both knew where my mind really was.

On my Mum.

I wondered briefly if Mum was pouring her heart to Gail over a glass of white wine, but then I realised that meant she would have to admit it first, and judging by her reaction this morning, denial had seemed the more obvious course of action.

I'd been replaying the morning over and over in my head for most of the day. I know that I just blurted it out over breakfast, and yeah, I could see how that hadn't been ideal. But sometimes with the big things in life, it's the only way. I could spend months thinking about it, planning it all so carefully and it would still never go the way I thought it would. That had been made perfectly clear to me the night before. I had all the words then, knew exactly what I wanted to say, but they stuck in my throat and I couldn't get them out.

No, I could see how this was a massive shock for my parents, but this way worked for me. No plans, no expectations...just the truth.

When I thought about it now though, I just couldn't get past the fear that my Mum would never really accept it. Never accept me.

And that thought terrified me.

By the time that we'd arrived at Rosie's I'd determinedly shoved the disturbing thoughts to the back of my mind. Mum wasn't the only one who could live in denial. Well, for tonight at least.

I looked around Rosie's flat now from my position on the sofa and I had to admit it was nice. A small one bedroom, but quite modern. I'd expect nothing less from Rosie really. I'd only been here a few times since Rosie had moved in last month, the last time only staying long enough to get the quick tour and listen to Mum telling Rosie about the importance of a good tea towel, but still I could see that Rosie had made it her own.

Rosie had gone to the corner shop after she'd checked her fridge and loudly declared that it was lactose intolerant. It had taken another twenty minutes of me trying to explain how that was every kind of impossible, only for Rosie to turn briskly as she marched out of the door and shout, "Whatever, Sophie...there's still no fucking milk in it, is there?"

I swear, there are times when I question the fact that _I'm_ supposed to be the smart one.

It was only after Rosie stormed out I had realised that at some point during our argument Sian had wandered off. Figuring that as an only child she'd had enough of our squabbling, I'd flopped down on the setee to wait for her.

I didn't have to wait long.

Sian re-entered the flat, rubbing her hands briskly over her arms in an effort to warm up. "Brrr...should have put my coat on."

"Where did you disappear to?" I sat up quickly, grateful for an excuse to stop flicking through Rosie's magazines. There were only so many times a person can read about Katie Price's latest autobiography without their brain turning to mush.

"Just phoning my Mum." Sian held up her mobile, before throwing it carelessly on Rosie's small, glass coffee table.

Now that caught my interest. Sian hardly ever called her Mum these days. It wasn't that she didn't want to talk to her, it was more of a test. Sian's way of seeing how long her Mum would leave it before getting in touch with her.

"Everything ok?" I asked as casually as I could,

Sian smirked at me, the mischievous twinkle in her eyes letting me know that she knew exactly what I was doing. "Well...I told her."

"About us?" I squeaked.

Sian's smirk blossomed into a full blown grin. "Yeah...thought I'd get it out of the way."

"So...what did she say?" Again, I tried for casual and failed miserably.

"Oh, nothing much...she's too busy with her latest bloke to care really." Sian's smile had all but faded away as she rubbed at her temple distractedly. "I could have been telling her I just got a spray tan, for all she's bothered."

"I'm sure she cares, Sian." I offered, taking her hand in mine as she sat next to me on the small two seater.

"Maybe." She said, but she didn't look so sure and I couldn't offer any real reassurances. Sian's Mum had never been a big presence in her life even when she'd been here, and since she left she had repeatedly put her 'boyfriend of the week' before her own daughter.

"Will she tell your Dad?" I moved on to the next issue.

"Hah! I doubt it." Sian scoffed. "She's not gonna put herself in the firing line, is she?"

"I'm sorry." I said softly.

Sian looked puzzled. "What for?"

"I feel like we've been focusing on me, and my family. There's two of us in this." I answered carefully. I didn't want this to become all about me and my needs.

"Yeah well, my family aren't exactly like yours, Soph." Sian dismissed my concerns with a smile. "My Mum's off God knows where half the time. I mean...she only gets in touch when she realises how long its been since she last spoke to me. And my Dad...well I don't think my Dad cares at all."

She sighed, her thumb rubbing the top of my hand. "So it's not as if we all get together every sunday and hold hands round the kitchen table, is it?"

"We don't holds hands." I muttered self-consciously, making Sian smile once more.

Rosie's key turned in the lock and I knew this conversation would have to wait until later. But, it was one I was determined we were going to have. Sian had been amazing over the last 24 hours. She been everything I'd needed as I muddled my way through telling my family, and I was going to make bloody certain that I did the same for her.

"You're both wearing clothes this time aren't you?" Rosie shouted from behind the half opened door.

Sian waggled her eyebrows at me mischievously. "Maybe." She called back.

Rosie stepped hesitantly into the flat with one hand covering her eyes and a pint of milk grasped tightly in the other. "Eww. Seriously, Sophie. You two better not be getting sweaty on my sofa! I'm not scrubbing the leather when you're done."

'_Lovely_.' I wrinkled my nose at that image.

I swatted Sian's hand as she giggled beside me. "Relax, Rosie. Sian was just having you on."

Rosie peeked one eye through her fingers suspiciously. "Oh...very funny, Sian." She said sourly when she saw I wasn't lying.

"I thought so." Sian murmured, only loud enough for me to hear.

Rosie crossed from the small kitchenette to the living room after storing the milk and plonked herself down between us. "So my little darlings!" She threw her arms around both of us, glancing at us each in turn. "Where are we going tonight then?"

"I dunno, Rosie." I shrugged. "Don't think I'm really in the mood."

Rosie swung her arm off my shoulder and gripped my knee. "Well _get_ in the mood, sis. I'm not finding out I have a fabulously gay sister and not going out on the town!"

Sian giggled again and mouthed '_fabulously gay_?' behind Rosie's head, earning a scowl from me.

I leaned forward, looking across Rosie to check out Sian's reaction to the prospect of a night out. Maybe we could both do with a chance to relax and forget about everything that was going on.

Sian shrugged, "Could be fun." She smiled.

The smile grew wider as I rolled my eyes and admitted defeat. "Alright then." I sighed. "But...I'm...choosing...my...own...clothes!" I poked my finger in Rosie's chest with each word, making sure she got the point.

The last time Rosie dressed me for a night out I ended up looking like a Las Vegas hooker. Only less classy.

"Oh, don't be such a grouch." Rosie grasped my finger and pushed it away. She uncrossed her legs with a dramatic flair and stood up. "Now, lets get dressed." She clapped her hands together and headed to the bedroom.

I turned to Sian."This...is _not_ a good idea."

"Oh come on. How bad could it be?"

"Are you joking?" I asked as I stared at Sian, amazed at her naivety still where Rosie was concerned

A muffled shout of triumph sounded from the bedroom before Rosie appeared at the bedroom door, a variety of garments hanging from her fingers. "So girls...I'm thinking leather, yeah?"

I flopped back onto the couch and threw my arm over my eyes. "Shoot me now." I groaned, Sian's laughter ringing in my ears.


End file.
